lip magazine: for girls who think feel create speak out live

from issue 14: by Ophelia Tynan

Even if we try, it’s hard to now avoid the issue of climate change. Everywhere we go, there is mention of this strange and bizarre phenomenon – the television, the bookstore, the newspaper, the cinema, the mall, the department stores, the supermarket… why the fuss? Why is this scientific sensation such a strong influence in our society? Why has it been one of the strongest issues in politics all over the world, and why have entire countries pledged to fight this cause?

what is climate change?
In a nutshell, climate change is when the average temperature of the earth – currently 15°C – warms or cools. Another word for climate change is global warming, although this phrase is slowly being phased out because people didn’t take the threat seriously enough when the phrase suggested warming as something good and enjoyable.

limate change has occurred in the past, though not for many thousands of years. Ice ages are an example of sudden climate changes that occurred for a number of natural reasons still being discovered by scientists today.

causes of climate change
There are many reasons why climate change occurs, both natural and caused by human activity. Some factors include:

• Greenhouse gas emissions: although greenhouse gas emissions are a relatively new cause of climate change historically speaking, today they are the largest cause of climate change action. Greenhouse gases come from places such as coal-fired energy plants, petrol-fuelled vehicles, and so on.
• Deforestation: removing forests for development or agricultural production removes a crucial part of reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
• Solar variation: the sun emits different levels of heat during its life, and there is ample evidence to suggest that past climate changes have been related to this.

the three tipping points for climate change
Many climate scientists, including Australian of the Year, Tim Flannery, believe that there are three tipping points. Flannery argues that there are points in climate change activity that, if they were to occur, would trigger runaway climate change, impossible to stop. These are:

• The collapse of the Gulf Stream: the Gulf Stream is the centre of what is called the ocean conveyor belt – it sends the strongest ocean currents around the world. It only works with the precise amount of fresh water and salt water, but climate change is changing this delicate ecosystem incredibly quickly. If large amounts of fresh water from Greenland or the Arctic melted into this system, or if the Atlantic Ocean pumped too much salty water into it due to increased water evaporation, the ocean conveyor would simply shut down. And when this happens, it would destroy Europe’s climate and send it into an ice age.
• Collapse of the Amazonian rainforests: the water evaporation in the air, reducing rain and humidity, causes the Amazonian rainforests to fade and die. Not only would this kill hundreds of species and destroy the tourism industry for the Amazonian rainforest, it would destroy the largest forest – hence, the largest source of greenhouse gas reduction – and make our emissions skyrocket.
• Methane gas release from the sea floor: a certain kind of natural greenhouse gas – methane – is trapped underneath the sea floor by ice crystals. The methane is kept safe and locked into the ice crystals by the freezing temperatures. However, if the deep sea temperatures were to increase, the massive amounts of methane would be released. The last time this occurred, it caused the largest extinction event that ever occurred.

impacts of climate change
Variations in the atmosphere and temperature may not seem important in the grand scheme of things; it is a matter of converting the complex science into reality. If climate change was to take hold by 2100, even a one or two degree increase in our average temperature, we would have catastrophic events such as:

• Rising sea levels: millions of people around the world currently live within one metre of the current sea level. If this were to change even by 0.5 of a metre, this would displace millions of people, leaving them without homes and destroying countries’ economies. If Greenland, Antarctica or the Arctic melted, we could see sea level rises of over six metres, wiping out entire cities. If current predictions are underestimated, as many scientists are now arguing, world maps would have to be redrawn. We are facing a crucial moment in history – seeing and creating the next Atlantis.
• Extinction of many species such as the polar bear: even though the extinction of thousands of species is heartbreaking enough, it would include many species such as birds, insects and marine life that would destroy ecosystems, causing massive problems for humanity.
• Extreme weather: as Australians, we already know the effects of wild weather. We have bushfires, cyclones, droughts and floods. However, climate change would not only continue this, it would intensify it. This would cause major economic, humanitarian and environmental crises that would cost the country and the world more than a mere dollar amount.

These are a small selection of major environmental impacts that would occur if we allowed climate change to gain any more speed than it already has running.

action on climate change
Climate change has the potential to change the world in hundreds of different ways. However, action to stop it has been slow at best. Political leaders are the hardest minds to change, and have been halting progress on climate change prevention for many reasons, such as:

• Interests in the business community: many industries and businesses feel they would lose wealth and jobs to help prevent climate change, such as General Motors and the death of the electric car. Many politicians such as President George Bush and Prime Minister John Howard have strong ties to the business communities, hence their slow uptakes to climate change action.
• The Greenhouse Mafia: Clive Hamilton, author of Scorcher: The Dirty Politics of Climate Change, wrote about the self-named ‘Greenhouse Mafia’, made up of some of the strongest and most influential industry representatives. Hamilton reports that not only did they pressure the government in favour of climate change inaction, but they had an active role in creating policy and attitudes towards climate change within Parliament.
• Economy: most anti-climate change action leaders believe that the economy must be sacrificed in order for us to take action on climate change. However, there is ample evidence from many economists and activists that suggests that this is completely incorrect. Taking action would open us to new business opportunities, create jobs and wealth, as well as preserving future generations’ futures.

get involved!
To do something about climate change, take one of these steps:

• Petition local and federal politicians.
• Use ethanol-based petrol whenever possible in your car. Even better: walk, cycle, skip, jump, run, or hopscotch to work or school.
• Switch to green energy supplied by wind, solar and hydro power.
• Join a pressure group like Greenpeace to help campaign.
• Use less power in the house – turn off lights, switch off power points when you’re not using electrical equipment, and turn the thermostat down just one degree in the winter to save mountains of energy.

where to find more information
Websites:

• Climate Crisis – http://www.climatecrisis.org
• Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change – http://www.ipcc.ch

Books:

• The Weather Makers by Tim Flannery
• Earth in the Balance: Ecology and the Human Spirit by Al Gore
• Scorcher: The Dirty Politics of Climate Change by Clive Hamilton

Films:

• An Inconvenient Truth
• Who Killed the Electric Car?

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from issue 14: by Rachel Longhurst

I often wonder whether I should have paid more attention in maths class. Don’t get me wrong, I can do basic maths and maybe I could have been capable of more had I applied myself. I get that two plus two is four, that three by three is nine, but in truth, I never really had an interest in it. The only time I found math semi-interesting was when we did algebra, and I have a sneaking suspicion that was because letters were involved. Give me letters and language any day over numbers and sums.

I recently read Joan Baker’s A Man is Not a Financial Plan (Allen and Unwin, 2007), a book for women on investing for wealth and independence. The most important message in this book is that women need to be prepared to create their own wealth. Despite the enormous leaps feminism has made, there are still many women who rely on finding a man to bring financial security to their lives. There is no guarantee that love and money are going to come hand in hand. No guarantee that, if it does, this wealth will protect against injury, divorce and death. With the increasing cost of living today, expecting a man to provide financial security is foolish. The reality is that many families rely on two incomes just to get by comfortably.

I’ve never been blasé about money as such. I grew up in a one-income household and, while my father worked damn hard to make sure we never went without, I made a conscious decision that my life would never be that hard. I’m not convinced that money makes people exorbitantly happy, but it does make life easier up to a certain point.

I took myself out of my regional town of birth, waved goodbye to my boyfriend and lived below the poverty line on government support and the minimal extra I was allowed to make (that studies are only now just highlighting isn’t nearly enough). I studied. I acquired a job to ensure that I could support myself, and I’ve taken away from my experiences an appreciation of how money can be spent and managed. I actively started investing for my future.

However, my disinterest in maths did overflow into what some might call a disrespect (I prefer the term ‘slight oversight’) for what numbers can generate. Wealth. Of course I knew wealthy people existed, but it never occurred to me that I might be able to choose to become wealthy. Independent and self-sufficient, yes. But never wealthy.

Joan writes that it’s all about having a simple plan: deciding that you want to be wealthy; learning what you need to about how to create this wealth; and taking action. Seems ridiculously easy, doesn’t it? It isn’t. But Joan’s book investigates and explains the intricacies of markets, investment, reinvestment, and using your income to create wealth in terms that non-financially literate people can understand. It highlights the importance of creating a surplus, budgeting and maximising your income. It advocates for avoiding the vicious cycle of debt by making friends with the virtuous cycle of wealth.

While I’m still not convinced I will be, or even sure that I want to be, wealthy any time soon, I have, as a result of what I read, reassessed what I do with my income, paid off depreciating debts, invested in the property market (apparently I have to be prepared to go into debt initially to make money) and banned myself from acquiring a credit card.

Essentially this book is about offering women choice. They can choose to become wealthy, or just to be comfortable, or somewhere in between. Either way, this book empowers women to feel that they can do it and offers the initial tools and motivation to start.

I’ve begun to appreciate not only what I can do with money, but what my money can do for me. I’ve started to ask sales people (where it’s expected) whether that’s the best price they can do; I’m paying attention to interest rates and what the share market is doing (sometimes); I’m learning what products can be purchased cheaper without skimping on quality; I’ve set myself spending limits and saving goals. I’ve also gained an amazing appreciation for what my parents did on the income they had.

So I have a man and I’m establishing a financial plan. I’ve placed myself on the financial learning curve at least. To be perfectly honest, the word finance still makes me shudder (finance equals money and money equals numbers and numbers remind me of maths)… but to get the most out of life, you must be prepared to get out of your comfort zone. I firmly believe that.

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from issue 13: by Chloe Angyal

Picture it: two men are out on a Saturday night. Leaning against the bar, one of them turns to the woman next to him and says, ‘I hope you don’t get mad at me, but I told my friend you were a freak. He says he wants a slut, I hope you don’t mind; I told him how you like it from behind’.

Some women, myself included, would slap the man in question. Someone with a little more self-control might ignore him and walk away. Once done with the slapping, however, I would pause to think about what exactly he had said to me and, more importantly, how on earth he came to think that it was an acceptable thing to say.

The charming come-on in the above paragraph is actually paraphrased from lyrics uttered by rapper Nate Dogg in his recent collaboration with Eminem on the track ‘Shake That’, which is a narrative of the two men’s adventures on their night out at a strip club. Immediately after Nate Dogg’s line comes Eminem’s echo, also directed at the woman (again, put yourself in her shoes), ‘I hope you don’t get mad at me, but I heard that you were a freak. Tonight I want a slut, I hope you don’t mind, I heard that you like it from behind’. For the record—if someone approached me like that, he’d be crawling out of that club on his hands and knees.

The hip hop movement, mostly in the form of music, has gained momentum in Australia in the last five years. Every year another few artists appear in the charts and for every single released, a video clip is made and played on network and cable television. The general point of these video clips is to construct an image for the hip hop artist—in the case of the male artist, he’s rich, famous and attractive (or in the case of less than physically perfect specimens, he’s attractive because he’s rich and famous), and he spends his life singing, driving his ‘pimped up ride’ and fighting off women with a stick (a stick that we can only presume is covered in bling).

The most commonly used video clip formula is the wall-to-wall women formula, where the man is in a club that appears to have no male patrons except for him. A good example is Nelly’s ‘Hot in Herre’ video clip: flattering lighting, industrial quantities of body oil and dozens of sweaty women who, not wearing much to begin with, obediently respond to the instructions in the lyrics, ‘It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes’. Eventually it gets so hot that the emergency sprinklers come on, making whatever clothing remains cling to the young, lithe bodies of the suggestively dancing women.

OutKast’s ‘I Like the Way You Move’ video portrays women as safari animals—lions, giraffes and antelope—grazing the plains in bathing suits and high heels, while hunters, played by the band’s two male singers, watch them through binoculars. This kind of symbolistic objectification of women has a lot to answer for.

In a recent forum, lip asked young women how images in hip hop make them feel about themselves, including whether it affects their ideas of what’s considered sexy. Several responded that the images don’t affect their own ideas, but felt that they do mould men’s ideas of sexiness, which in turn affects how they are viewed by those men. Therefore, the images that appear so often in videos can indirectly affect women who don’t even watch them. Thinking about this, it doesn’t seem fair that young women who choose not to consume the hip hop culture can’t avoid the expectations it sets up.

Natieka, an eighteen-year-old girl from Washington DC, wrote, ‘videos and lyrics don’t really affect what I think is sexy, but they do blur the lines for girls as to what is truly expected by men sexually’. And she makes an excellent point. If young women take what they see in video clips as a truthful indicator of what men expect from them, then our generation is in serious trouble indeed. These women are no role models: scantily clad, oiled, made up and draping themselves over male rappers who refer to them only as ‘bitches’ or ‘hos’.

As the charming and subtle Eminem and Nate Dogg demonstrated earlier, hip hop lyrics paint ugly pictures of male – female relations. Usually, the acts of sex described in these songs are entirely one-sided affairs, with the man’s pleasure being the top, and sometimes only, priority. The woman’s sexuality or sexual needs are barely considered, except for the disclosure that ‘she likes it from behind’, which earns her the label of ‘slut’. It should be noted, as per usual, when judging sexual habits of men and women, that his plan to bed every woman in the club does not make Eminem a ‘slut’, no matter how many times he does it from behind. Even more concerning is the implication that enjoying sex seems enough to make a woman a slut. I know plenty of women who enjoy sex, who crave it and think about it as much as their male peers, but that’s not slutty—it’s human and normal and totally acceptable when guys do it. A hip hop synonym for ‘slut’ is ‘freak’, and it’s very rare to find a man being referred to as a freak.

The lyrics to Petey Pablo’s ‘Freak-a-Leek’ are revolting, but telling. The rapper describes his ideal woman as—and I’m paraphrasing, because a direct quotation is unprintable—someone who ‘wants to try new sexual positions, isn’t scared of a big penis and loves to receive oral sex from another woman, because I’m not drunk enough to do it myself’. No, I’m not joking. This man wants an adventurous (and presumably flexible) woman who isn’t afraid of a (presumably his) large penis, and who doesn’t mind if he, Mr Pablo, has absolutely no interest in her sexual pleasure. Damn, don’t you just want to jump in line to be that girl?

The young women who responded to the online forum gave intelligent, insightful answers, which should give us hope—clearly not every girl out there wants to grind on a bling-clad rapper and head back to his hotel room for a groupie-esque night of catering to his (and only his) every sexual desire. I’m incredibly proud of the many lip readers who recognise that, as women, we can choose how men see us; we don’t have to accept the images hip hop holds up as the ideal.

I’m not proud of the women artists in hip hop who succumb to the pressure of the industry and become loud, influential enforcers of that ideal. Destiny’s Child’s last release as a group was ‘Cater 2 U’, and for the three girls who once topped the charts with ‘Independent Women’, what a turn around it was. ‘When you come home late tap me on the shoulder I’ll roll over/…I’m here to serve you’. Um, what? Apparently the men of hip hop aren’t the only ones guilty of portraying women as sexual toys or servants. It’s even more offensive when women have internalised the image enough to want to sell it to other women; a sick form of self-sabotage.

I’ll be the first to admit that a great beat is irresistible. And I’m not suggesting that we must boycott a beat because we don’t like the lyrics laid down over the top. What I am suggesting is that young women learn to watch and listen critically. Do we really want to be giving our money to a section of the music industry that promotes such appalling treatment of women? And do we really want to emulate the images we see in hip hop, sending the message to young men that it’s okay for them to treat us the way rappers treat their hos? We are not hos, we are not freaks, we are women. And we are fabulous.

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from issue 13: by Annette Lauder

From carefully saving my childhood fruit stickers in an album to going crazy over Japanese San-X and Sanrio characters, I’ve always enjoyed collecting stationery and stickers. I also love drawing and illustration. So when I decided I wanted to open an online business it seemed only natural to launch my own range of paper goods.

I started Nut and Bee in late 2005. The main products in my range are letter writing sets with matching paper and envelopes, ’sacks’ of individually cut stickers and self-adhesive bookplates. All of the paper goods feature my own illustrations and are produced and and-assembled at home. I also designed the Nut and Bee website (www.nutandbee.com); look after all of the packaging, mailing and customer service; and keep my own tax and accounting records. Although I aim for a professional appearance, Nut and Bee is very much a DIY enterprise!

My original designs included fluffy angora rabbits, a scarf-wearing monkey, marshmallows, ghosts, an orangutan and a gorilla. Since then, I’ve regularly expanded the line, adding new products about once a month. The range now has over 30 designs. My drawings spring from an imaginary world where hedgehogs and sloths snooze in bed, kittens mail letters and octopi love hot dogs. I’m inspired by a wide range of illustrators and artists, children’s books, craft books, anime, comics and, of course, classic character design. My criterion for choosing which illustrations to put on products is that if the drawing continues to make me smile every time I see it, it’s probably a winner.

I also have a sideline of crochet animal toys, such as monkeys, cats and owls, made in the Japanese amigurumi style (crochet worked by making the single crochet stitch in a continuous spiral). Because every one is unique and takes a long time to produce, I tend to save these to sell at craft fairs and special events rather than put them online, and many are commissioned custom pieces.

Running a craft business is incredibly rewarding. It’s a great feeling to know that people like my work enough to buy it. I have my products stocked in a few stores, but I concentrate my efforts on sales from my website. The internet offers a fantastic opportunity for small businesses, with an enormous potential audience. Just a few years ago it would have been extremely difficult to run a company like Nut and Bee because New Zealand is such a small market, but now I send goods all over the world!

Of course, there are many challenges as well. The most difficult aspect of building Nut and Bee has been promotion. Advertising campaigns are nearly impossible on a small budget, but I do get a lot of business simply by word of mouth. One comment from a happy customer on their weblog can bring in a flood of other orders. I have also had success participating in The Sampler (www.homeofthesampler.com), which is an amazing promotional tool for indie businesses. Money was very stressful in the first few months, as my initial equipment was purchased on a credit card. There have been other difficult moments along the way, but when things get really hard, I can count on great support and encouragement from my boyfriend, friends and family.

I’m really proud of what I have achieved so far with Nut and Bee, and I can’t wait to see what happens in the future!

Annette Lauder, 23, lives and crafts in Auckland, New Zealand. She is a library assistant by day and Nut and Bee by night!

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from issue 12: still a twenty-something teenybopper

As pop songs go, Pink’s ‘Stupid Girls’ is a bit of a corker. Forget the attention grabbing Lindsay/Paris/Mary-Kate/J-Simp pay-outs in the clip for a moment and consider such lyrical gems as, ‘what happened to the dream of girl president, she’s dancing in the video next to 50 Cent’ and ‘world in despair, their only concern, will it fuck up my hair?’

Never mind that no girl who dreamed of being president—or prime minister, for that matter—would ever dance in a video next to 50 Cent (imagine how long it would take for that one to get trawled out in an election campaign). What I find most interesting about the song is the way it plays with the assumption that sexy equals stupid; and equally, that stupid equals sexy. That ‘maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back’.

I guess you could be forgiven for falling for it. Jessica Simpson wiggled her way to the title of America’s sexiest woman as much on the back of her vacant eyes as she did on her hair, day-glo tan and double-Ds. Lindsay Lohan pretended to fail calculus to win her beau in Mean Girls. And didn’t Seth choose shallow Summer over whip-smart Anna on The OC?

It would seem Pink’s right; the epidemic of girls who think that playing down their smarts is the key to getting ahead is spreading and I cannot take anymore either. A few months ago, I participated in a television forum about young women and feminism. When the subject of whether men secretly preferred women who were less than their intellectual equals came up (I’d forcefully declared, ’No, that’s ridiculous! Guys love smart girls!’ in my pre-show interview), one of the girls in the audience said that she and her friends often ‘dumbed down’ to pick up.

’It’s embarrassing,’ she said, ’but when I go clubbing or to bars with my girlfriends and we stick around and look all prim and proper in our nice little outfits—and we are well dressed by the way—no one really approaches us. But if we start to laugh or giggle or do something really silly then we get attention. So I guess [dumbing down] is what we do to get attention.’

How depressing. But hold on a second—since when is laughing and being silly with your friends the same thing as, well, acting stupid? And is it really all that surprising that most people (male or female) feel more comfortable approaching someone who looks happy and friendly than someone who’s standing around being ‘prim and proper’? ‘Stupid’ may not be synonymous with ‘sexy’, but ‘having fun’ usually is (unless your idea of fun involves picking your toenails or dressing up like a Nazi). Revolutionary though it may sound to some, it’s not that hard to enjoy yourself—yes, even to giggle—at the same time as being smart. Call it multi-tasking.

As for guys being scared of smart chicks? Not in my experience. Being able to hold a decent conversation is actually an asset on the dating market. No guy or girl worth their weight in peanuts is going to turn you down because they’re intimidated by your wits, your grades or your secret fascination with the lifecycle of house moths. Sure, Tom Cruise made Katie Holmes change both her first and last names and give up acting to stay at home with their baby, but with all we know about Cruise’s control issues and penchant for jumping up and down on couches on international television, how many of us want to spend ten minutes in the same room as him?

Intelligence also comes in handy in non-kissing-related areas. Using your brain to its fullest capacity gives you more options when it comes to what you can do with your life. Speaking your mind makes it a lot harder for other people to push you around, dismiss you or make you do things that don’t seem like such a good idea. What’s more, being smart makes life more interesting. It makes you more interesting, and it makes other people more interesting to you too.

Even in pop culture, smart girls prosper in the end. Lindsay’s beau (bless his pretty cheekbones—er, soul) recoiled in horror when he found out she’d purposefully failed her tests so she had an excuse to spend more time with him. Summer ended up acing the SATs and getting into an Ivy League university while Seth bombed his interview and didn’t get in anywhere at all. And hard as it may be to believe (personally, I’m not buying it), rumour has it that Jessica Simpson actually has an IQ of 160, making her a certified genius. Meanwhile, Pink’s new role as the self-appointed poster girl for smart chicks has her career going better than ever.

Now that’s something to think about.

Rachel Hills, 23, is an editor for Vibewire.net and a writer on gender and media issues.

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Want an opportunity to get your design work seen by women Victoria-wide and help ensure abortion rights?

lip is helping out a coalition of VIC and national reproductive rights organisations to ensure the best outcome for abortion law reform in Victoria. Abortion will be taken out of the Crimes Act and what is lawful and unlawful clarified.

In order to ensure that women’s voices are heard about this issue, we are designing postcards enabling people to write about their stories and/or opinions about abortion. These postcards will be distributed in women’s health clinics in VIC, at O-week and other places women who have experienced an abortion or feel strongly about reproductive rights can be reached. We will then use these stories in media and political campaigning to strengthen our message that women believe abortion is their choice.

As part of getting the message out there that abortion rights in Australia are NOT secure and making sure young women are involved in the campaign I thought that I would give all you readers an opportunity to contribute to designing this postcard. We need a catchy image that will appeal to women of all ages and expresses the theme: abortion, my body, my voice, my choice. We want women to have to pick up the postcard and take action.

We need to have the postcards ready by O-week, so the sooner you get an image to me the better. I’d like to have an image ready by the third week of January. If your image is used it will be acknowledged on the postcard.

Send your images to or ask me for further info at rachelfunari@lipmag.com

Merry Christmas!

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from issue 12: by Jo Clay

My name is Jo and I am a serial housemate.

I am not talking about reality television. I am talking about life. At last count I have had seventeen housemates in three different countries. Many have been good friends. Some have become my second family (the fake Brady Bunch kind, not the actual family that led to me choosing group housing in the first place).

I have loved my housemates.

Even the kooky American who did not understand gravity and had me explain, with the aid of an orange and some basic physics, why we Aussies didn’t ‘fall off’. Even the guy who, when he didn’t want to talk to me, would throw a ball of string down the hall and tell me to go and chase it. Even the woman who made chilli con carne with a family block of chocolate and mashed potatoes with sultanas. Even the boyfriend who told me he didn’t believe in bread and would not allow it in the house.

Yes, I have loved them all. But this year I met a new challenge. This year I have lived with a Somewhat Nutty Overbearing Tyrant (SNOT).

I realise I am lucky to have encountered only one SNOT in my long experience. Friends of mine have lived with people who have stolen their shampoo and topped it up with water, people who have fled the law and their group house debts and people who don’t believe in taking out the rubbish until the maggots get aggressive. So I was probably due for a bad housemate.

How did I end up with this particular SNOT?

In January, I was sharing a house with a Fantastic Woman. I would call her the sister I never had, but having started out with a Brady Bunch analogy consistency requires I stick with it, and there’s not one Brady that I’d like to be related to. So I’ll just call her the Fantastic Woman (FW).

FW and I lived together happily for three years. We shared a passion for beer, good food and Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns. Eventually, we moved into our dream pad.

One week later, her boyfriend proposed.

Not that I’m bitter. Not that I resent the fact that he didn’t tip me off. And not that I think, given that her father lived elsewhere, the boyfriend should have sought my permission first. It has been pointed out to me that if I were to suggest any of these things, I would start to sound like a SNOT myself.

I digress.

I once again found myself on the hunt for a place to call home, which is how I ended up living with the SNOT. The situation started out innocuously. She was an old friend who had a great rent deal in a nice house. Having lived on her own for years, she now wanted a flatmate. She arranged with the landlords for me to move in.

The SNOT had her own quirks. She wanted things to be very, very clean. All the time. She liked the cushions on the couch and the collection of remote controls on the coffee table to be placed, rather than scattered. She would promptly rearrange both cushions and remotes if they were placed incorrectly. She made an aesthetic ruling against fridge magnets. And she liked her own furniture so much that all mine went straight into the shed.

For a short-term lease with a sweet rent deal, this was fine. However, four months after moving in, the SNOT informed me that she was unhappy. The announcement came suddenly one Sunday night. There were no lead-up discussions about different dishwasher-loading styles, conflicting television schedules or whose turn it was to buy milk. She simply announced that she had been unhappy for some time and had come up with the only solution. I had to leave.

Given that I had moved seven times in the previous three years, and the lease itself was expiring in three months in any case, this was not welcome information.

I made a few attempts to find out why the situation was not to the SNOT’s liking. I suggested different ways that we could do things. I became so concerned at her insistence that I leave without giving me any reason that I checked with FW’s psychiatrist father about whether the SNOT’s behaviour might be explained by a psychiatric condition and whether she could be a danger to herself. His view was that no, there was unlikely to be a medical explanation, she was simply being a SNOT.

The SNOT then told me I had two weeks to clear out. I toyed with the idea of embarking upon a campaign of terror. Visions of intentionally rearranging the cushions seduced me. I fantasised about leaving my dirty dishes on the sink for a whole night! But, instead, I turned to my rights before the law.

Because the tenancy was short and I knew both the SNOT and the landlords, I had not insisted upon a written tenancy agreement when I moved in. Fortunately, I discovered that the law protected stupid, trusting folk like me. I had a look at my local tenancy legislation and found that a written tenancy agreement is not a prerequisite to securing your rights.

I contacted my local tenancy advice line. They confirmed that I was either a sub-tenant or co-tenant and that my flatmate had no legal authority to order me out as she had. I then let my flatmate know that I had no intention of leaving. Eventually, she decided that she would move instead. The landlords have now issued proper notice for the lease to end, at a time that suits me better and minimises my moving expenses.

In retrospect, I believe that the SNOT had watched too many episodes of Big Brother and honestly thought that she could evict me because she didn’t like me anymore. She may even have initiated an SMS poll, I don’t know. I should have insisted that we watch Buffy reruns more often.

I am going to set out a few ways to deal with or avoid a SNOT or landlord. I speak from my own failings when I say this, but make sure you have a written tenancy agreement. You will have legal rights without a written agreement, but it is simpler to understand and hold others to these rights if they are set out in a document that everyone has signed. You may also find that your landlord or flatmates will argue that you are not a ‘tenant’ if you have not signed an agreement. While I managed to prove that I was a tenant, it took time and effort to do so.

Of course, never sign a tenancy agreement if you don’t agree with its terms. If there are terms that you don’t want included, consider striking them out of the agreement or raising them with the agent or landlord. If you sign an agreement, you may be bound by its terms regardless of the rights granted to you under local tenancy law. It will depend on the exact contents of that law and your agreement.

If you find yourself in a difficult situation, get advice. You can contact a lawyer or a specialist tenancy advice service. A few services are listed on page 32. And, remember, tenancy law and proceedings are usually set up to ensure that unrepresented parties have a fair go.

Think about what you stand to lose if it all goes wrong. For instance, do your housemates or landlords owe you money? Would you be prepared to pursue these debts in the Small Claims Court or is there a better way to resolve your problem? If you can’t deal with a share house situation, get out of the communal kitchen and find a place on your own. Or move back in with your mother. She knows how to deal with you.

Of course, at some stage you may decide that it is time to buy a house of your own. My recent experience has convinced me that this is what I should do.

Watch this space for amusing tales of how home ownership can go horribly wrong.

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mook moŏk mʊk ~noun1. A bound, hybrid publication issued in series.2. Not quite magazine, not quite book3. A collection of surprising, unconventional new writing.Having just launched our first edition The Sex Mook: What is our Sex?, indie publishing house Vignette Press is seeking ideas for their next collection of creative non-fiction: The Death Mook: How do we Die?Self-immolation, burial rites, deadly subcultures, fatal attractions,sacrifices, the gothic, the afterlife, morgues, homicide. We’re looking for writing both serious and scandalous. Confessions, critiques, testimonies, reviews, sophisticated rants and expressive engagements; the acutely sensitive and the highly sensational. We want your thoughts on virtual suicide, your advice on home pet taxidermy, and your near-death experience haiku. Quirky and controversial takes that speak to the often taboo topic of death in surprising and original ways.How do we die? will be launched on Halloween next year with a broad distribution through independent book stores, arts venues and online. Contributors will not be paid but WILL receive a show bag that includes a copy of the mook, Vignette Press discounts and a collection of other exciting goodies.Sound intriguing? Send us your pitch! Articles will vary in length from 500 to 2000 words. Pitches should be no longer than 300 words. A call for artworks and creative contributions will come out in 2008

SEND PITCHES BY JAN 1st

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Tokyo street chic, schoolgirl innocence and a rustic Spanish mood all combined to create this captivating expression of style.

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lip issue 14 has a feature on the environment and a bunch of tips for living more environmentally sustainable lifestyles. The feature got me thinking about ways we can continue these efforts over the Silly Season.

Gifts
• When you choose a gift for someone, think about whether the person needs it or will actually use it
• Buy a locally-made version if you can (craft and fruit and veg markets are a great source of locally-made goodies)
• Is your gift energy-efficient, recyclable, or will it need disposable batteries?
• Avoid buying things that are disposable – buy something that will last or that is easy to upgrade or repair
• Choose “green” gifts such as fruit trees, herbs, native plants, bicycles, water/energy saving gadgets
• Make your own gifts (especially food)
• Have a Kris Kringle so everyone only buys one gift, instead of several
• Make a donation to a charity on behalf of the person, and let them know what “their” gift will mean to someone more needy

Food
• Meat has a big environmental impact – reduce meat portions and offer lots of vegetarian options
• Avoid fish that has come from overseas or that are long-living or deep-sea species
• Moderate your consumption of alcohol – lots of water is used in the production of beer and wine

Decorations
• Avoid plastic and disposable decorations
• Try making your own from food like popcorn, cinnamon sticks and dried cranberries
• Buy a native tree in a pot instead of a plantation pine
• Use lights with LEDs instead of traditional bulbs
• Buy handmade decorations

We hope you are enjoying the latest issue of lip, and wish you all a healthy and happy holiday.

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