drunk girl etiquette
I often find myself being a voyeur when I go out of an evening. There’s a certain amusement wanting how people go from being steadily happy to becoming increasingly uninhibited the more inebriated they become. I have also noticed a certain trend among crowds, those few unfortunate individuals who already arrive a little too gregarious, drink a little more than the rest and dance a little too vigorously. These are often the individuals who find themselves sprawled over a speaker, projectile vomiting into a poor, unsuspecting stranger’s lap. (Unfortunately, I have been a helpless witness to these people, on more than one occasion.)
So, whether it’s your 21st, your best friend’s 40th or you find yourself seeking the pleasures of the night for a guilt free evening with your girlfriends, remember these few rules:
- For every glass of alcohol you consume, follow it with a glass of water and/or juice. This will counteract the immediate effect of tipsiness and steer you away from that dreadful 24 hour migraine. Alcohol already acts as a diuretic, so frequent trips to the ladies does not indicate that you are well hydrated, it only suggests that you losing more essential fluid.
- Locate the toilets before you locate the bar. There is nothing worse than stumbling through an array of bodies in those new kitten heels, trying to locate the welcoming glow of the bathroom in a dark club, after you have polished off your fifth Cosmopolitan.
- Remember that old adage ‘Never accept sweets from a stranger’? Well, the same applies for accepting a drink you haven’t seen being mixed. (Even if the bartender is extremely handsome and persuasive.) Aside from the fact that he’s a licensed stranger who could potentially spike your drink, it is far easier to drink too much when you aren’t paying for it. Having said that, accepting a drink from your friend or the person you’ve been dancing with is a gracious way of saying ‘thank you.’
- Little black dress? Check. Immaculate makeup? Check. Sneakers to counteract the stilettos? Check? Unless you’ve managed to find a lucky carpark directly outside the club/bar you’ve decided to inhabit, you would have walked from a car park, bus stop or taxi rank. This may not seem an issue at first; your spirits are high and wedging your feet into your blood red heels seems a worthy sacrifice for your captivating outfit, but by the time you’re finished making love to the dance floor, your feet are going to wish you had never forced them into those evil, gravity defying devices. So, leave the cute little clutch bag at home and take a bag that’s big enough to hold a pair of ballet shoes. Otherwise, if foot pain doesn’t convince you, watch the way women walk in heels when they’ve had one too many. For vanity’s sake, pack some flat shoes.
- Lastly and most importantly, stay acutely aware of your surroundings. If you feel you have drunk too much and are unable to make a rational decision, don’t let anyone take you anywhere unfamiliar (This should go without saying, but in some cases, it doesn’t.) If in the unlikely case of an event, you’ve lost sight of your friends, ask a bouncer for assistance, not another intoxicated stranger.
- Enjoy yourself, enjoy the pleasures of the night, keep your mobile in a place that’s always reachable and most importantly, stay safe.
By Sophia Anna