five tips for nervous daters
Look, by now we’ve all realised that dating is not the carefree, fun activity that rom-coms and chick lit would have us believe. Unlike the Carrie Bradshaws of the world, most of us face dating with anxiety, a little insecurity and often a healthy dose of alcohol.
Dating is an acquired skill in a lot of ways – the more dates you go on, or the more strangers you converse with, the more comfortable you become with the whole unknown scenario.
But first dates are always nerve-wracking, and I’m yet to meet someone who is genuinely unfazed by the idea of hanging out with a semi-stranger who you find attractive and who is yet to find out about all of your various odd personality quirks or eating habits.
There’s all kinds of dating advice out there, but we’ve put together five key tips for all of us nervous daters out there.
1. Wear something comfortable
As tempting as it is to try out that ultra-sexy new dress/pair of jeans/too-tight t-shirt, you’ll probably have enough to contend with on your date besides worrying about a button popping, or your skirt riding up, or any other wardrobe malfunction.
Choose an outfit that you’re comfortable in, and that always makes you feel confident and happy. That sense of ease will shine through on your date, and it’ll also give you one less thing to worry about.
2. Start the conversation early
One of the hardest things about a date with someone you don’t know very well, or have just met recently, is getting the conversation started. In fact, one of the best things about the rise of online dating is the fact that you can engage with your date online in the lead-up to actually meeting – which helps smooth some of the potential awkwardness.
Try to start some casual conversation in the lead-up to your date – a few emails or text messages is a good way to show that you’re friendly, and to suss out potential conversation starters for the date itself.
If you already know what they do for a living, or some interesting things that happened that week, you can dive into a good chat without having to get through small talk first.
3. Don’t be afraid to say that you’re nervous
If you’re visibly nervous, or if you’re feeling particularly anxious just tell your date. That way, they’ll know that you’re not always on edge, and it’s also pretty flattering to know that you make someone nervous, so in all likelihood, they’ll find it cute.
4. Tell your date about yourself
Do you have interesting hobbies? A cool job? A cause that you’re passionate about? Tell your date about yourself, and the things that matter to you. It’ll help put forward the kind of person you are, so you can find out quickly if you’re compatible.
Also, you’re probably never more engaging or exciting as when you’re talking about things that you love, so the date is likely to go better.
5. Remember, it’s only a date
Don’t let your nerves put you off – dating is, above all, supposed to be fun. Even if it doesn’t come to anything in the end, at least you had a meal or a drink, met someone new, and got to practice your dating skills in a live setting. There’s always next time!
Image via Flickr.