If there’s one thing that most heterosexual women can generally agree on, regardless of what their individual stances on feminism are, it’s that hearing men talk about female bodies is often an uncomfortable experience.
Whether it’s a bawdy conversation about what they find sexy, an offhand comment about a passing woman, or (most alarmingly) a direct comment on our own bodies, hearing female bodies being dissected and discussed can start a knee-jerk cringe reaction that often results in unhealthy self examination, and a reassessment of what men find attractive.
Of course, I’m generalising quite a bit here – many women probably enjoy getting this insight into the heterosexual male psyche, and many women are confident and comfortable with their bodies to the point where it really doesn’t matter what anyone believes they should look like. Not to mention the fact that men are hardly likely to have homogenous views on female bodies, and if the media has taught me anything, it’s that there is no ideal body type when it comes to what type of woman is considered attractive.
That said, though, it certainly makes me uncomfortable to hear women discussed entirely on their physical merits, or as sexual objects without a care for their personalities, or individual traits.
So it should naturally follow then that men would also find it uncomfortable to hear male bodies being objectified, and that generalizing about what is and isn’t attractive in a man would be distressing to some men. Right? Men have feelings too, eh?
Well, judging by some of the conversations I’ve been privy to lately, that is decidedly not the case – or at least, women like to think that men couldn’t care less.
It has occurred to me recently that women have little to no qualms about discussing men in objectifying terms, in much the same manner as you would expect 25-year-old guys at their local pub to chat about Blake Lively on a Saturday night.
I’ve heard women talk loudly about how they wished all men looked like John Hamm, how men should really work out because no one likes a chubby guy, and how short men are tragic because leaning down for a kiss is completely undesirable.
It stands to reason that if a group of men were discussing women in such a way, they would be considered rather sexist. I myself have told male friends off for talking about women as if they’re pieces of meat, and I know that it makes me personally uncomfortable sometimes when I consider just how little I look like Blake Lively, and how it would pain me if they were talking about my body so cavalierly.
So why are male bodies not afforded the same sensitivity?
I tried to discuss this with a friend of mine recently, and she disagreed quite strongly with my view. She claimed that, seeing as women have been the victims of objectification for centuries, and that female bodies are far more prone to criticism than male bodies, that the manner in which we discuss men is really irrelevant – basically, women were subjugated first, and so they really don’t owe men anything in terms of sensitivity.
I found it hard to understand her logic, mostly because I’m an equal rights feminist, in the sense that I really do believe in equal rights for both genders, and I like to believe that men and women are really not that strikingly different emotionally.
I think a large part of the reason why women assume that it’s okay to objectify men is because of the way masculinity is constructed in society. Men are treated as being more physically minded than women, less emotional, and also less insecure or self-conscious.
Some girls who I’ve spoken to about this have laughed and said that basically, most guys would love to hear that women were discussing their bodies, implying that men assume that only positive feedback could be given regarding their physical forms, or that to men any attention is good attention.
I find the double standard here to be quite troubling. My issue has never been with the objectification of women inherently, but rather the issue of objectification as a symptom of a general superficiality that pervades in society.
Do you think that this is an issue? Are women objectifying men? Bear in mind that I’m aware that culturally, women are subjected to a great deal more of objectification through mainstream media and popular culture, but is this perhaps becoming the case more so for men as well?
I took two ‘sexist’ ads into my Women’s Studies class with young women and a few young men to discuss. Overwhelmingly, the ads that were ‘sexist towards men’ were seen as comical in their table-turning, and fantasy-like.
Rather than suggesting that ‘men should look like this’ both women and men in the class commented that these ads were more aspirational than degrading for men (ie ‘you could look like this if you tried’ rather than ‘other men look like this – why don’t you?’).
I think we have a long way to go before images of men read in the same ways that they do for women. I agree with you Zoya that culturally, women’s bodies have been disected as open for criticism, while men’s bodies are privileged for what they can do (lift heavy things!).
If someone has dressed to get attention in a pub then its not a problem for either gender as it is what they want. The problem is when looks become a factor in situations that they shouldn’t be. Something that has disturbed me, as a guy of average looks but some scaring, is the trend in reality shows of judges and crowds chanting for men to take their shirts off. Something that I am quite touchy about.
It is partially my own body image that makes me leery of this but also that these shows are based around the opinion of the audience. So if a man does refuse then he has lost the crowd, which in something like x factor charisma is supposed to be one of the main factors.
Channel 10 are also guilty of this with George Negus being replaced by a younger more attractive man after a lot of women gave their support for the younger man FOR being attractive. This is ironic considering some of the opinions I have heard him say on the Project.
I have found that it is one of many situations that women have disappointed me. I have grown up hearing that men in power exercise that power in ways that override the wishes of other, often this is men objectifying women. Yet it turns out we are starting to see that when the gender roles are reversed women are often quite to objectify men, I had expected better. The excuse of ‘it happened for ages’ is exasperating to say the least. I would have thought that if someone knew what it was like to be objectified they would then go out their way not to make the same mistakes when the roles are reversed.
[...] video was called Feminism and the disposable man and in continuation of Zoya’s query about the objectification of men and the ever-standing view of equality and definition of feminism that lip upholds, there is much [...]