Have you ever felt like there are some serious gaps in your sexual education? Like maybe you don’t know as much as you should? Do you find yourself sometimes nodding along during a bawdy conversation with friends while actually secretly panicking about what they mean when they say ‘tea-bagging’? I’m going to put this out…
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We’ve all heard people whinge about getting stuck in the “friend-zone”. Basically, they have fancied someone who does not return their feelings. The object of their longing has either knowingly or not placed them in the friend-zone. The zone of no escape. The zone of perpetual no-sex. They might even be, God forbid, “like a…
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I was recently asked to speak in a podcast about the book Fifty Shades of Grey and, more generally, porn for women. The specific podcast can be found here: http://www.psycho-babble.net/archives/356 The main things to keep in mind about the book and the brouhaha surrounding it: 1. Take the sexual activity and ‘BDSM contracts’ out of…
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As a feminist, I often get into situations where I’ll do something vaguely ‘un-feminist’ (not that I even believe in that term), and whoever is with me will clap their hands in glee and say, ‘Ha! That’s not very feminist of you, is it?!’, triumphantly, as if I’ve finally been caught out as the fraud…
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When I first moved out with my boyfriend (now husband), I’m not going to lie, it was tough. Neither of us was at all prepared for what co-habitation would actually involve. While we had the bills, grocery shopping, and actual running of our day to day lives under control much faster than I ever anticipated,…
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Phase one: The Pledge While it may feel like you are the epitome of depression, the poster child of melancholy, once you have taken the first pledge to feeling grief, becoming completely consumed by your emotions and knowing it’s normal to feel each and every one of them, you have begun the arduous but rewarding…
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A colleague once asked me: ‘So, you don’t have a boyfriend and don’t drink alcohol… so what do you do with your life?’ In response, I said: ‘I consider myself a career woman.’ However, three months later, and alcohol intolerance cleared, I feel as if I need to reconsider my opinion on the matter. It…
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Recently I was involved in the type of relationship I thought was an urban myth boasted about by high school virgins: I had a friend-with-benefits. A fuck-buddy. A copulation-crony. A cunnilingus-confidant. A screwing-sidekick. A pounding-pal. A boning-bro. Mine and Harry’s arrangement was weekly. We did post-carnal-cuddle, we did hold hands and share affectionate pecks, but…
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With a title like A Happy Event (or Un hereux événement, its original French name), one might expect this film to be a cheery little comedy that neatly tied clichés and cuteness with a bow. However, once the story of Barbara (Louise Bourgoin) and Nico (Pio Marmaï) progresses, it becomes increasingly clear that there is…
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Hollywood doesn’t anecdote the ‘happily ever after’ of modern love anymore without doctoring it with clichés, 30 second orgasms and a sense of overall perfection. This is what Sarah Polley tried to steer away from when she wrote and directed Take This Waltz. Take This Waltz is not a feel good comedy. It is a rich…
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Today I found myself justifying my relationship with my boyfriend to a bank teller. I assured her that we were “serious” and we’d talked about marriage. What I was really trying to say was: ‘I have a boyfriend; we still live with our parents, but please take us seriously’. Admitting that I have a boyfriend…
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Many moons ago, I took pride in never having had sex with an ex-boyfriend. My badge of honour was in vain, however, as up until 2009, I’d never actually had much desire to do the horizontal dance of danger with someone I was no longer seeing. When you don’t want to do something, it’s not…
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I’ve never been good at maintaining friendships with people I’ve been involved with. I used to think it was their fault – because clearly it’s the height of maturity to blame everything on your ex after a break up – but in reality, I think it has a lot more to do with me. I’m…
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For a very brief period some time ago, I enjoyed buying self-help books from op shops. I can’t remember why I did this, as I tend to avoid self-help sections for the most part (though this might just be my idealised self-image; upon reflection, I also used to go to Borders with a friend and…
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