if only i’d known: a letter to my fourteen year old self

Sometimes we all feel a bit anxious about the future. Even with the knowledge that life is nothing less than a rollercoaster of highs, lows and everything in between, I sometimes need to be reminded that everything passes.

Revisiting an old experience that turned out fine can offer some perspective when you’re feeling down. So to reassure myself that everything will be A-OK, I wrote a letter to my former self for some inspiration.

Dear Fourteen year old Mehal,

You’re in year nine now and if you haven’t already, you’ll soon mistake condoms for stickers. For God’s sake when Kelly Tasker pulls out fluro-coloured condoms in the girls change rooms after PE one day, ignore the saga, keep dressing and clear on out. Your innocence is endearing but now’s not the time to flaunt it. It will make for a hilarious anecdote years on however, so know that as much as people laugh about it, it’ll pass. Really it will.

Your life, whether you’ll admit it to yourself yet or not has been marked by difference for reasons you’ll understand in time. Even through the frustration of this bear in mind you’ll be unbelievably inspired by it later on. If you could start recording all the awkward, funny and infuriating moments now, it’d really help, as your memory down the track is sometimes a little hazy.

So here’s the thing. Life is going to get really good and then really bad and your life will continue to fluctuate (like your personality) between these two extremes. Remember this: there’s always a small glimmer of hope. Always.

Big things happen! A number of them. Mostly unexpected and all life-changing in their own way. Embrace this. Never give up on your dreams; you’ll achieve them all. Yes, even that trip to London.

Most importantly, be yourself. Be yourself because you’re much stronger than you think. Take leaps of faith, they’ll always be worth it and any disappointment is always short lived.

And for heaven’s sake stop feeling guilty! Let yourself be swept by the tide occasionally – it’s good for your coordination.

Trust that everything happens for the best. Trust this because it’s true.

Stop being so feisty; being nice is important not because you want the world to love you but because one day you’ll need a little nice of your own.

You don’t know everything and you won’t, but you know enough to know when things aren’t right and when things need to change – capitalise on this even if it hurts, and it will.

Remember to breathe. No really, this is kind of important.

Cherish everything. Sometimes things change forever, and much sooner than you expect so don’t miss a chance. I mean it.

Until this time (August 2012) you haven’t found the kind of love you keep searching for. Enjoy all that happens in the lead up to this; just don’t indulge in any grand planning. Believe me; you’ll be thankful for every near miss. It’ll also teach you to love those that matter and I promise you this will be wonderfully enabling.

Stop trying to be perfect because you’re not. Make mistakes – you’ll survive them all.

Stop worrying what people think of you. There’ll be haters – there always is – but there’ll be lovers too and they are so much more important!

Don’t try oysters over and over again. Trying to convince yourself you like them doesn’t make them any tastier. They make you sick and frankly nobody wants to see you gag at the dinner table.

Try to love yourself a little because you’re worthy of that.

And finally, enjoy the ride. It’s pretty spectacular.

Love you always,

Future Mehal xx

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