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Wednesday 9 February 2011
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: misery loves co.

Dunja Kay
No comments

For all the stigmas associated with it in the real world, depression and its subsidiaries manage to carry with them a bit of glamour in certain domains of life. Of course, we all know about the tortured but brilliant artistes, but right alongside that little gem of an inaccurate stereotype is that of the tragic…
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Friday 4 February 2011
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: attribution theory and the other woman

Dunja Kay
One comment

Upon seeing my friend, Elizabeth Taylor, in the bathroom of a bar one Saturday evening, the girlfriend of a boy who Elizabeth Taylor had slept with remarked: ‘I wish I had a weapon.’ On the one hand, I could understand why this girl would lash out. E.T. had knowingly had sex with her boyfriend while…
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Sunday 30 January 2011
Culture Opinion

love out loud: zen and the art of compromise

Dunja Kay
2 comments

The media and its agents (oh, aren’t they just to blame for everything?) want you to believe a lot of things so they can make money from you. They want you to think you’re unattractive so you’ll spend buy make-up and gym memberships trying to attract Prince or Princess Charming, just like in the movies….
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Wednesday 19 January 2011
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: they call you lady luck

Dunja Kay
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When I started writing this column, I thought that I would never run out of material. I’m obsessed with my relationships, fickle and do a lot of stupid things. These are all elements that lend themselves to a phenomenal well of subject matter. This remains true, but this week I had very little desire to…
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Thursday 13 January 2011
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: every (wo)man’s land?

Dunja Kay
One comment

There was once a boy I thought was cute. I would see him traipsing about university and he looked vaguely familiar, but I just assumed I’d seen him at some point at one of the hovels I frequent. On one fateful evening, I run into him at a bar. His name is Jimmy Page (sort…
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Wednesday 29 December 2010
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: marriage without marriage

Dunja Kay
No comments

I have been living with my housemate, Alice Planetoid, for almost 11 months now. In that time, I would estimate that I have asked her whether her parents are married, on average, once a fortnight, and yet have never managed to commit it to memory. For the purposes of this article, however, I took special…
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Wednesday 22 December 2010
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: honesty, the okay policy

Dunja Kay
7 comments

Honesty. It’s what we’re told is the best policy when we’re small and unable to make independent and informed judgments. Then you get older and learn that lying often gets you out of trouble. But more importantly, it often also prevents you from hurting people you care about. Several weeks after I started seeing Dracula,…
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Wednesday 15 December 2010
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: dealing with the ex

Dunja Kay
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The mention of an ex-partner is hardly going to warm your heart, even at the best of times. And in my dealings with men, I’ve often also had to deal with their histories. From the crazy ex to the lovely one to the one they go back to, even the most unobtrusive has usually played…
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Wednesday 8 December 2010
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: the vacationship

Dunja Kay
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My love life is what you might call, less than stellar. I even hope that becomes apparent quite quickly when reading my columns, as I’d hate to influence someone in their decision making because they follow my lead. Sometimes I even describe this column as a guide of what not to do; I make mistakes…
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Wednesday 1 December 2010
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: friends know something you don’t know

Dunja Kay
2 comments

Contrary to popular opinion, psychologists are not supposed to give advice, but rather reflect back to clients what they are already thinking (etc etc, but this is not the time nor the place to detail various psychotherapies). As I am a student of psychology, I like to employ such strategies from time to time. As…
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Wednesday 24 November 2010
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: ethical sex

Dunja Kay
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The mentality of honesty-in-all-circumstances is not the ideal in all domains of life. I can’t count the number of things I never asked to be told that I wish I didn’t know, and all of the character-building justifications in the world fail to change my mind. However. Though full disclosure is to be exercised with…
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Thursday 18 November 2010
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: the case for the third date

Dunja Kay
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If you’re a follower of my column or otherwise know me in real life, you’ll know that I’m not really one for antiquated ideals. So hearing that I am now a supporter of the three-date rule might come as a shock. This has nothing to do with the fact that people might (erroneously) think you’re…
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Wednesday 10 November 2010
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: world wide weird

Dunja Kay
No comments

Like most people (probably), I like to think of myself as rather open-minded. But one stigma I’ve never quite managed to shake is that of online dating. Still, I was curious, so when my friend suggested that I sign up to a dating site and write a column about the experience, I figured I would…
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Wednesday 3 November 2010
Culture Featured Opinion

love out loud: rebounds this way

Dunja Kay
2 comments

‘Dunja, do I have a sign on my head saying ‘rebounds this way’?’ After I had assured my friend, Gertie, that there was no signage anywhere on her body indicating that damaged men were her partner of choice, I started to think about why she and I have both often found ourselves inadvertently involved with…
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