cougar city : cradle snatching or canny dating?

by Chloe Wheeler

I sit here pondering over my keyboard as to what my next installment should be…waiting for a light-bulb moment to occur – so far the best thing I’ve come up with is a mental picture of Coyote musing over what his next dirty ploy will be to eradicate roadrunner. Frantic chewing of my peppermint flavoured Extra isn’t helping matters – if anything I’m more likely to spontaneously combust or worse, develop a serious case of lock-jaw than anything else. Then it dawns on me like the projection of a 6 battery operated mag-light – startlingly obvious; enter the ‘Cougar!’

What is it about the mention of this elusive breed of species that induces heart palpitations, sweaty palms and st-st-stuttering from hoards of impressionable 20-something males the world over? What is it that captures their attention? Mystery? Intrigue? Mystery and intrigue – brought on by speculations about mystery? Is it merely a desire to be cultivated by (stereotypically) successful, independent, strong, and slightly enhanced 40-something females? Temptation Island! (Freudian quips aside).

Is this a recent developmental phenomenon, encouraged by movies such as American Pie, or shows like Beauty or the Geek, or, is it an age-old desire, lurking amidst the minds of teenagers as far back as the black and white John Wayne Cowboys and Indians era?

Nope, unlike the yoyo and shoulder pad phases, which have not so recently, and more so recently, plagued society with their comeback, the Cougar appeal, in my mind, is the never-ending pack of Tim-Tams phenomenon of the real world – something not so phasic, but rather that will never end.

Regardless of which millennium we are in, I believe the prospect of a sleek, dark haired beauty sauntering her way through a crowd of teething pre-pubescent male lion cubs is enough to induce even the most fleeting urge to cross codes and embark on the journey of premature maturation – regardless of which era we are in.

Such tendencies undoubtedly challenge the very foundations upon which the typical Tarzan-Jane story stems from. Regardless of whether the story takes place in a remote tropical jungle where melodically blessed orangutans rule, or within the arguably less primitive surroundings of modern day city dwellings, the natural order of things remains the same; that is that women have been conditioned to play the role of the weaker, more impressionable mate. Put simply, the proof is in the portrayal.

Look at the great novels of Jane Austen, whose strong willed, intelligent, middle-class heroines were consumed by their fear of becoming old maids, purely because they had not yet met their distinguished, wealthy Mr Darcy type match – whether or not they were older or younger actually had nothing to do with it, so long as they had money. For many middle-classed women of such times, the adage ‘you snooze, you loose’ could not have been more fitting, given the ‘old maid’ age cut-off was around 25 years old; an opportunity missed may have then resulted in a lifetime of spinsterhood.

In this day and age however, women have more opportunity and slightly more leeway in terms of their ‘use by’ date. By some respects, society isn’t quite so fickle in that it allows men and women of sometimes extreme age differences to unite. While we may be outwardly more accepting of such occurrences, it goes without say that such unions attract as much speculation as they would have done during Jane Austen’s era. The only difference now being that Women’s Day is lurking in the wings ready with a magazine deal and the promise of 5 minutes of fame – anything to quell their hungry readers’ morbid curiosity for such stories. Sex sells, but so does the allure of what your neighbours are doing over the back fence.

So why is it that society has such difficulty accepting this apparent role reversal? I believe the issue arises from the fact that women are conditioned to believe that they will be swept off their feet by an older, more sophisticated, culturally endearing (handsome of course), prince charming figure. His many talents include hunting wild deer, swinging from vines, and changing a tyre with nothing but a pocketknife, piece of string and an Apple i-pad.

So what about when the typical Tarzan-Jane cradle-snatching stereotype is challenged? What about when the roles are reversed? How does the prospect of Jane beating her chest, careering through the trees with Tarzan tucked under one arm, fare against such socially engrained ideals? Simple, it doesn’t. Not without attracting its fair share of speculation, criticism and the odd Today Tonight interview anyway. Some may argue that it goes against the natural order for women to take control of the situation; other, more liberal minded non-arm-pit shaving individuals supporting ‘love knowing no boundary’ theories, and therefore endorse the idea of free love.

While I am a big fan of personal grooming, I also believe that age, or society, shouldn’t dictate or comment on whether two people decide to move in, marry, tattoo an initial, or buy the other some botox. Sure, the Hugh Hefner reality (whether ‘Hugh’ is male or female), is one that may evoke a gag reflex from many of us, but in all honesty, who cares?! Society thrives off controversy and the many weird and wonderful enigmas in life, as well as ever-changing ideas of what is normal and what is not.

So women of the 21st Century, embrace the idea of challenging social norms, and acquaint yourself with the idea of escaping the ‘use by date’ imposed by 18th Century social ideals. Instead, focus on establishing a contingency plan to include financial independence, cultural appreciation, self-enlightenment, and a Desperate Housewives worthy manicured lawn so you too can experience the enigma of what is, the Cougar…

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