Feminist, Fat, and Fabulous Blog: Swimming Into Summer

It’s hot. Oh so hot. The weather has done the usual thing and bypassed spring all together and gone smack, sweaty bang into summer.

I hate it. I’ve lived here all my life and am still not used to the humidity. It honestly makes me want to just flop on the ground and cry. This is probably a tad dramatic, yeah, but what I actually do isn’t all that far off from this.

Last Sunday in particular was a very hot day. My friend invited myself and some other fat friends over to her place. Which has a pool. I just about jumped up and down (but decided it was too hot for exercise). This required togs.

Luckily, I have lots of togs. I recognise I have the privilege of being able to fit into a large range of togs available to me. I also recognise that some people don’t have access to swimwear, either in the case of affordability or size and style issues. Or the other issue. That they are too embarrassed to put them on.

I used to be like this. As soon as I hit puberty, I found every which way it was possible to get out of swimming during PE. Sports carnivals, I was conveniently sick. I wouldn’t go over to places with pools. If I absolutely could not get out of swimming, it would require a giant white or black men’s t-shirt with equally large board shorts or regular shorts. I’d stay in the water as long as possible, so no one would see me when I got out.

I look back at that time and think: “What a waste.” I regret it. I love to swim. I love the feel of the water. I love how powerful I feel when doing laps of freestyle and breaststroke. I love lying on my back and watching the sky. I love it all. I wish I hadn’t wasted so many years.

When I got to my friend’s place, I wasted no time in changing into my togs and getting into the water. Some other girls with the stereotypically perfect bodies were there. In the barbeque area, in the pool. I thought I was going to revert back to my old self—assume people are looking at me, judging me for daring to wear a swimsuit, judging me for daring to get into the pool while they were in there, daring to eat at the barbeque.

I did not. I walked around in my togs. I didn’t race to grab a towel to cover myself. I ate my friend’s delicious veggie burgers and scarfed her sadly melted, but still utterly delicious double chocolate cup cakes. I started off feeling self-conscious, but that slowly faded away when I was with my friends: talking, laughing, swimming, and eating. It was a great day and I can’t wait to do it again.