Feminist, Fat, and Fabulous Blog: You Are Not Your Feelings

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, or observe any other religious occasion, I hope you had a nice day off anyway.

Me?

Well, I have now learned not to buy my sister clothing for Christmas. Or at any other time of the year.

It is my own fault though. I knew it would happen, unfortunately. It sort of ended up with a breakdown about how utterly fat and ‘house-like’ she was (her boyfriend told her she was more of a letterbox. He was trying to make light. It didn’t really work, although it made me laugh).

I honestly thought the blouse I bought her fit her fine. She focused on her arms and stomach; I focused on how wonderful the colour (coral!) looked on her.

It makes me sad. But I do get it.

I had my own little mini-freak-out/breakdown on Boxing Day. Nothing to do with clothing, everything to do with food.

Obviously, Christmas and the holiday season is a time where regular eating habits and exercise get thrown out the window for parties, alcohol, and food. Oh, the food. Christmas Day is a day where people tend to eat far more at a lunch or dinner than they would usually consume in a week, for goodness sake (exaggeration for comic effect).

What a time for my food issues to rear their head. I truly thought that I was past it all. But instead, I’d gone back to the guilty feelings, and food restrictions. All because of a few days. Instead of following my intuitive eating and appreciating the fabulous home-cooked cakes and fresh seafood, I was counting in my head what I had eaten that day. Instead of perhaps exercising in the morning, or letting myself have a day off, I beat myself up for not exercising at the proper time and not exercising enough.

So, how am I getting past it? Talking about it helps. A friend gave me some advice that I think I will take:

‘Treat it like a holiday. You have a few days off, and then you go back to your normal routine. Hopefully this will alleviate the dwelling and guilty feelings.’

Another friend reminded me:

‘You are not your feelings.’

Simple, I know. Seems like I should know already, yeah? Sometimes it’s hard to get it through to my head. I may never be 100% past it and something may trigger it at any time, but I at least have the coping mechanisms and ability to deal with it better now.