love out loud: the vacationship
My love life is what you might call, less than stellar. I even hope that becomes apparent quite quickly when reading my columns, as I’d hate to influence someone in their decision making because they follow my lead. Sometimes I even describe this column as a guide of what not to do; I make mistakes so you don’t have to!
The vacationship, however, is a different story.
My first flirt with the vacationship was flirting with an Australian working at a hostel bar in Greece. Hyde irritated me initially, but I was quickly won over with free shots of ouzo. Or possibly his sense of humour, it’s hard to say.
What made this liaison different to any I’d had previously was that there was a definitive deadline. We both knew I’d be leaving in several days and this served to both accelerate and heighten the nature of our interactions. Most of my remaining time was spent with him, wandering the streets of Athens and crashing at his hostel, effectively wasting the money I’d spent on accommodation. There were all the perks of a relationship, without the hassles, and without any thoughts about our future.
And then I left. It was easy. That’s not to say I didn’t miss him in the days that followed, or that I hadn’t liked him, but there simply hadn’t been enough time to get attached and we’d hung out with the knowledge that it was going to end, and moreover, it was going to end soon.
Even though most relationships we have when we’re young do have a deadline (even if we’re not aware of it), this is something that is admittedly difficult to acknowledge to your partner, or even to yourself when you have strong feelings for them. And yet, this served to make my time with Hyde wholly good because time spent doing anything un-fun would have been time wasted. We weren’t long-term prospects for one another, but he made for pleasant company and a pleasant few days.
It’s a shame that time, as a general rule, isn’t appreciated more, and vacationships are one of those rare instances where it is outlined for you. You can let things slide that might otherwise cause fundamental problems between two people, because most things are tolerable in the short term.
Relationships come in many different forms, and not all of them have to be undertaken with even the hope of any kind of long-term eventuality. As long as both people know what’s going on, there’s no reason that a vacationship can’t be just as ‘successful’ as a more conventional relationship, but its success is defined by different parameters.
There is no shame in enjoying someone’s company and acting like one of those nauseating couples for a few days, even if you have no interest in taking it further. After all, holidays are for relaxing, not burdening yourself with a long distance relationship thereafter.
(Image credits: 1.)
