sartorial musings: dressing for a winter flu
I never, ever get sick. My poor boyfriend has been sniffling and coughing for weeks, my whole family seem to be afflicted with head colds every time I visit for dinner (my Mum’s cooking is totally worth risking contracting an illness for) and yet I have managed to remain robustly healthy and rosy-cheeked all winter: except for this week.
That’s right- just as I have been freed of my tiresome scholarly duties (end of semester, at last!) I have been struck down by some sort of cold virus. The glands in my neck feel like a pair of Brazil nuts, my throat feels like Jamie Oliver gave it the once-over with a fancy cheese grater and my head is throbbing like a popular nightclub at two in the morning. My voice actually sounds kind of whisky-soaked and sexy, but no-one seems to have complimented me on it for some reason. Fortunately I am on holidays, so I can just snivel away under the doona by myself and no-one will know or care. But what if you’re super sick and you have to attend school or work? Don’t fear, friends. I have compiled a guide to Winter Flu Dressing for you.
1. Absorbent fabrics are your friend
If you have the flu, chances are you are also running a high fever and sweating buckets. You poor thing! Why did your colleague have to pick this week to go on her honeymoon and leave you in the office? What a selfish cow. In this case, pick something in a sweat-proof colour in natural, absorbent fabric. Cotton works well, synthetics generally do not (unless they are those specially engineered fabrics for gym workouts). Darker colours will hide sweat patches. Do not choose your sunshine-yellow satin blouse for today.
2. Layer your clothing
The flu brings along a whole host of unpleasant symptoms, one of the worst being your body temperature’s lightning change from feeling boiling hot to freezing cold. This is where layering comes in handy – even though you might be feeling one extreme or the other, resist the urge to wear a giant heavy polar fleece or a skimpy Bonds singlet and layer up instead. Your body will thank you when you can add or remove as necessary. If you are at work and have crafted yourself a nice hairstyle (foreign to me, but I hear some girls are actually good at doing their hair), you can avoid ruining it when whipping your layers on and off by wearing a button-up cardigan or jackets with zips- that way you don’t have to pull your clothes over your head all the time. Goodbye mad scientist static, hello sleek hairdo.
3. Wear flat, comfortable shoes
I know heels make you look tall and lean like Miranda Kerr, but today is not the day for your brand new studded JC Lita’s (as cool as they might be). Instead, make like Audrey Hepburn and pop on a pair of chic black ballet flats. They go with almost everything -unless you are a punk rocker, I suppose – and your feet will be relaxed and comfortable. Plus you won’t have to fiddle around with laces or worry about falling over, as a broken ankle would probably only make you feel worse right now (although the prospect of a morphine drip is always pretty tempting if I do say so myself).
4. Carry a decent-sized handbag
Those cute little envelope clutches may be very trendy, but do yourself a favour and choose a nice roomy handbag today. This way you will be able to stuff in as many tissues/cold and flu tablets/cough syrups/anti-emetics/Chihuahuas as your heart desires, instead of just being able to fit your iPhone and a lipstick – both fairly useless in a sneezing fit or hearty bout of vomiting.
5. Go easy on the make-up
If you have a cold, your eyes will probably be really watery and sad-looking. Sorry! My advice here is to either wear good-quality waterproof mascara or simply avoid eye make-up altogether; your immune system is already struggling and you don’t want to introduce a potential makeup-induced eye infection to the mix. If you have a somewhat frightening ghostly pallor and want to perk your face up a bit, a tiny bit of blusher should do the trick. As an alternative to blusher, Garnier BB Cream will even out your blotchy skin tone and moisturise at the same time. I am not even being endorsed to write that.
6. Avoid wearing red
My boyfriend recently experienced the pain of rubbing his dripping nose raw with Kleenex and earning the nickname “Rudolph” from me in lieu of sympathy. Poor guy. If you also find that you resemble Santa’s favourite reindeer, it is probably best to avoid matching your jumper/hat/scarf to your bright red nose – this will only serve to emphasize the redness of your beak rather than detract from it. If people start humming Christmas tunes and it is only June, you will know why. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
If you’re the kind of spritely girl that is happy to bust out your tight jeans, high heels and tiny purse when you have the flu, then congratulations! I am sure you will go far. For the rest of us mortals, follow the tips to ease your way through this rough time. As for me, I am going to go back to bed and snuggle with my new murder mystery. Have a lovely flu season everybody!
