What Does a Feminist Look Like?
The brand of feminism has suffered considerably over the years. I’m not sure when exactly it happened, but somewhere along the line, being a feminist became a really ugly label, one that apparently means you’re an angry, humourless, hairy-legged man-hater.
No one wants to be associated with that image. Girls and women are always careful to distance themselves, hesitantly expressing their concerns by saying ‘I’m not a feminist, but…’, just like how people say ‘I’m not racist, but…’ Which is really quite strange, and a little bit horrifying when you think about it. Is ‘feminist’ really considered as distasteful a label as ‘racist’?
For whatever reason, feminism has gotten a bad name. A lot of us are too embarrassed to call ourselves feminists, or to voice our opinions on gendered issues for fear of how we will be perceived. Or stereotyped might be the more accurate word. It’s hard to have an intelligent conversation when you get shut down as being hysterical and humourless, or dismissed with ‘oh, so you’re a lesbian then?’ It’s hard when people simplify your point of view and make (rather ignorant and more often than not incorrect) assumptions about what you think- that you hate men, or you think women are better than men. It’s hard being told to calm down when you are calm, or that you’re taking things too seriously when you just want to open up a discussion about something.
Somehow, we need to change the public perception of what a ‘feminist’ is, to create an understanding that there is no rigidly prescribed image or set of beliefs that make up all feminists. No woman speaks for all women, and no feminist speaks for all feminists- just as no person speaks for all people.
Being a feminist doesn’t necessarily mean you think all men are assholes. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get offended if a man opens a door for you. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a lesbian, or that you dress a certain way, or cut your hair in a particular style. Feminists come in all different shapes, sizes, colours and costumes- and we all have our own philosophy that we should feel free to discuss.
Somehow, we need to dismantle the stereotype that’s stopping so many women from voicing how they feel. And maybe the first step is more of us openly ‘admitting’ to being feminists. Lena Chen, author of the wonderful Ch!cktionary blog, came up with Feminist Coming Out Day last year when she was a senior at Harvard. Held on March 8th to coincide with International Women’s Day, the campaign took place on campus with a photo exhibition called the Feminist Portrait Project and students wearing badges and t-shirts proclaiming ‘This Is What A Feminist Looks Like.’
This year, it’s happening again- but this time it’s online as well. Lena and her co-organiser Abby Sun are asking feminists to submit their own ‘portraits’- in visual, text or video form- to the Feminist Coming Out Day website, to showcase the multiplicity of the faces and voices of feminism, hopefully encouraging pride and openness and even helping to dismantle some stereotypes. The image above is 23-year-old Brooklyn girl Abigail’s portrait- just one of the many women (and men) who have submitted their responses.
It’s a small step, obviously, but I think projects like this might be a good place to start. Then maybe one day, more women will stand up and speak out- and be proud to be called a feminist.