Eat my leaf – saying those things you really want to say at moments when you really want to say them

Many of us pretend fight. We see these pretend fights in movies and television shows, to which we can relate. And these are inspiring. I always feel excited to get out there and tell the world my feelings when I see someone else stand up for their rights and fight back. There are plenty of real ‘fight’ scenes and moments in life where we can visualise ourselves actually saying what we want to say, when we want to say it, but how many of us always say what’s on our mind?

Is it because what’s on our mind at the time doesn’t necessarily agree with what our heart feels most of the time? Perhaps a one-off moment of explosive emotion isn’t worth a life time of pain and regretting that you had ever said anything? Perhaps it is? Perhaps that’s not how things would turn out. Though, would you take that risk? A leap of faith into the unknown? Why not? Why would you?

There have been many times where I’ve held myself back from saying what I really feel the need to say. I think it’s because I’m afraid. I’m afraid that I might not say it in a diplomatic matter and may offend someone when I can prevent the problem by not saying anything at all. I also think that I need time to think things through and process that information to come to an informed decision, which I often don’t have time to do in the heat of the moment.

These moments range from family feuds to social situations where my rights to my beliefs are challenged. One in particular is a lady that I have worked with in a childcare centre, and is much easier to speak about then something personally related to me (but aren’t they all?).

At this childcare centre, I was employed as a relief worker and special needs support for a child with down syndrome, and this said lady, was the group leader. We just happened to be on a break together, and as we were discussing different things related to children, she suggested that parents with special needs children need to help childcare centres more by getting night jobs and being there to help control their special needs child, as the extra time and effort needed to look after and spend with children of higher needs, was taking away valuable time from the mainstream children in the centre. Well, my head was about to explode! I absolutely believed completely the opposite of this woman’s opinion, and felt it was extremely inappropriate from a professional in such a vulnerable field, and yet I didn’t say anything to defend the rights that I felt so strongly about. Instead of taking the time to word a respectful response that would explain my standpoint, (rather then blow her head off about how rude and horrible I felt her comments were) I chose to ignore her ignorance, and take my break elsewhere.

So from this year, I am going to work towards being a flower determined to state my opinion. Just because I’m pretty and little, doesn’t mean that anyone has the right to disregard me or my abilities, and it especially doesn’t mean people can talk down to me, or condescend to me. Have a piece of my leaf, society.