the pros of being an awkwardly tall woman

Image credit: Frank Tschakert, fineartamerica.com

I am an Awkwardly Tall Woman. I feel more comfortable with the term girl, but I recently turned 22 so I figure it’s time I start to accept the terrifying fact that I am actually a woman. I stand somewhere around six foot tall. I’m short in my family, which is a small victory in a life of insecurity about my height, but apart from that my tallness is always blaringly obvious: I’m taller than my boyfriend and all my friends; I’m the annoying in-the-way person at any concert or gig; I regularly run into low-hanging signs or just general architecture; I’m that gal who gets the up and down stare and then that look of surprise when whoever’s up-and-downing me discovers that no, I’m not actually wearing six inch heels.

But there’s more to being tall than just being a klutz and getting stared at – there are also heaps of awesome things that come directly attached to those extra inches I have over average-sized individuals. For example, reaching stuff comes far easier to me than most. I work in a supermarket, so I’m regularly being asked to get stuff off high shelves. When I used to work at McDonald’s (oh yes I’ve had some glorious jobs in my time), I used to be asked to stand on tiptoe to reach up and wipe the accumulated grease off the big menu boards behind the registers. Which in my eyes was the equivalent of standing there holding a sign that said ‘hey customers look at me I’m freakishly tall!’, much to my embarrassment. But nonetheless, being tall means I can acquire things and clean things that a majority of the population need ladders or chairs or gymnastic prowess for.

I also like to think that being an Awkwardly Tall Woman helps to keep me safe in three ways: 1) I’m easy to see, 2) I’m intimidating if I put on my angry face, and 3) my long legs carry me away pretty damn quickly when I want them to. The first one is useful because if I’m in trouble, I take up a lot of space and can attract attention pretty easily without doing very much at all. Numbers 2 and 3? Well, I can appear strong and menacing (even though just climbing three stairs leaves me a sweaty mess) to any thug in my way, and if that doesn’t work, I can get the hell out of there. Heck I can use my height to intimidate someone even if they’re not a thug but just the average-brand jerk. The other day at the supermarket I work at I was serving a customer who was being rude for no reason at all, and when he chucked his change on the counter I straightened up and squared my shoulders and just kind of glare-smiled at him. He looked away uncomfortably and muttered ‘thank you’ while I swept his change into my hand with a triumphant flourish.

And another bit of awesomeness that my height allows: I’m good in crowds – I can see further and be seen by those looking for me. I mentioned earlier that I’m that annoying in-the-way person at any concert or gig. But whilst blocking the person’s view behind me, I simultaneously can usually see over the sea of heads in front of me in any standing audience. While I do my best not to block people’s views, life’s a bitch sometimes (to whoever is standing behind me), and I’ve learnt to reap the fruits of having vision elevated enough to see everything over a crowd and just enjoy the show.

But the most important thing I feel I have discovered over my twenty-odd years of being really, really tall, is that being a bit different allows me to look at difference and abnormality with less of a stranger’s eyes, and go against the norm to experience and accept many things that don’t quite fit society’s code of normal and acceptable. Now I’m only human, so like a lot of women I spend too much time worrying about the fact that I don’t fit a perfect projection of what a female “should be”, but when I stop and think about it, who does? No female fits into the cookie-cutter mould that society designs. So being super tall makes my resistance to the norm an in-your-face physical attribute, which in some ways makes it easier for me to feel comfortable challenging other expectations that I feel are placed upon me. For example, I have hairy armpits. This isn’t revolutionary, I know, but it still seems to bother a lot of folks. But being tall helps me here because I figure, stuff it, people are gonna stare at me sometimes anyway, so why not give them an eyeful of my underarms every now and again, and maybe help them to reconsider mainstream views and realise that it’s okay for every woman to make their own decisions about how they present their body. This goes for lots of other things too, not just hairy pits. Being tall helps me feel like I already exist outside the box of absolute normalcy, so it becomes easier to embrace lots of other stuff that exists outside that box too.

I think the idea of ‘existing outside of the box of normalcy’ can pretty much work for anyone. I’m awkwardly tall and that’s where a lot of my insecurities and questions and little joys lie, but you, dear reader, might be really short, or have crooked teeth, or are obsessed with broccoli, or whatever. Usually no matter what we are, we have something that makes us a little bit different. So I reckon embrace it – that’s what I’m learning to do more and more with my Awkwardly Tall Woman status – and let it teach you to embrace difference in others too.

By Kaya Ra Edwards

Kaya Ra Edwards studies writing in Brisbane where she shares a unit with her boyfriend and a noisy cockatiel called Charlie. Kaya loves tea and glitter and sleeping in. She has previously been published in Voiceworks, Run, Rabbit Magazine, and Skive among others. You can find her writing, art and more at [email protected].