who needs money? beautiful people travel for free!

A friend recently posted the below video to Facebook because she was completely bemused by the content. I was too. Quite a few commenters had the same reaction  — is this a joke?  Could it perhaps be some sort of satirical viral marketing? Some sort of social media experiment? A previously unreleased skit from Saturday Night Live?  According to the Miss Travel website, no. It’s legit.

It’s been about a week since I first watched this video, and I’m still trying to get past my knee-jerk reaction and really unpack why it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Could it be my own attitudes towards sex and intimacy? Cheeky dance floor pashes of my youth aside, I’ve never been good at casual hook-ups – it takes me time to feel wanted and comfortable. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I really wish I could throw down a fling with reckless abandon and no inhibitions, but at this stage in my life, it’s not something I’m built for. My friends are diverse in their attitudes. One waited for marriage, a few enjoy taking home the cute boy from the bar whose name they can’t quite remember, while the others fall into all the shades of grey in-between. And quite honestly, as long as they are being safe, feel in control, and have respect with their partner, then I think this is fantastic. Everyone has their own temperament and has been through unique experiences (we’re all special little snowflakes!) that forms their feelings towards intimacy and sex, and (within reason) one approach isn’t any more right than the other.

Am I opposed to the sex industry? That is a loaded, loaded question. There are many contentious and heartbreaking issues involving the sex industry in Australia and abroad, and there are honestly not enough words to get into that (right now, anyway). But when it comes to ethically run strip-clubs and services that employ workers who enjoy and feel affirmed by their jobs, then I really don’t have any moral qualms. It’s not something that will ever be part of my life (and any husband of mine better be smart at hiding frequent strip club visits, simply because I’ll get insecure that I no longer turn him on) but I understand why they exist and can appreciate why some choose it as a profession.

Is it the way the girls portray themselves on the site? Partially. The majority of photos are exactly what you would expect: lingerie, improbable amounts of cleavage, a bigger pout than I had at five, and more tan than that mother who was just on the news for possibly solarium-tanning her 6-year-old. Part of me is disappointed in these girls for resorting to what I feel is such a tacky way of presenting themselves, but then I remind myself that it’s really not up to me to pass judgment on what makes someone else feel beautiful and comfortable. I wonder if they are only dressing like that to make themselves desirable to the men, which isn’t very affirming. BUT then I remember how many times I’ve worn uncomfortably high heels with a skirt I have to be careful sitting in just so a boy might think I have nice legs, and realise I’m not really one to talk, because helloooooo kettle. So where’s the line? Should there even be a line? And trying to answer this question really makes me want to grab my physical kettle and make a pot of tea and have a lie-down so I might stop now.

Is it the relationship options I have a problem with? This is definitely an issue, I have a huge problem with the fact an option on the site is ‘discreet affair’. There’s nothing you could say to me that would make that seem okay. And anyone who uses the “I’m not the one in a marriage/He’ll do it with someone else anyway” excuse really doesn’t have some neurons firing. I know affairs aren’t always a black and white issue; one of my close-friends is the product of an extra-marital affair, and her parents are so much in love and are genuinely wonderful people. But in the case of someone saying they are open to an affair with someone they’ve never met before? There’s something inherently wrong.

Then there’s the ‘Sugar Daddy’ call-out. Many of the girls select this as a ‘relationship’ option and write that they’d “spoil” the guy in “their own special way”‘? Ugh! But I get it. Men get sex. The girls get trips to Havana and perhaps some Ed Hardy clothes. If this is a mutually beneficial relationship that two parties are getting what they want from, and it doesn’t hurt anyone else, should I really pass judgment?

And then I realise what my problem with the site really is – and it’s silly it took me so long because it’s a large part of my day job. It’s the marketing. The site looks cute! Fun! Adorable! It makes me want to use exclamation marks!!!!!! It presents itself as being normal. But there’s nothing about this site that is normal, or cute, or fun, or adorable.

The girls are supplying sexual services in return for trips and ‘presents’, and that’s a mammoth decision to make. The tone of the site is so light, it makes me think the majority of the girls who have signed up haven’t actually thought through what they are agreeing to and are instead focusing on the glamour of exotic locales and monogramed handbags.

Their safety is also a concern. The website has a section of travel trips in which they advise people to not travel overseas with someone they don’t know well, but this point seems made redundant by the fact that in the profiles both the “generous travelers” and “attractive travelers” list overseas destinations they are willing to go to. And unlike some other agencies, they don’t perform background checks on participants or provide any sort of support.

Don’t  get me wrong, if someone is 100% fine with this and even feels liberated by the experience, then that’s fabulous. But because it’s not something aligned with my own values, I can’t think of a price – or a destination – I would put on my integrity. I just hope the women on this website aren’t selling theirs for an Eiffel Tower view.

(Image credit: 1)