In 2011 Australia’s most prestigious literary award, the Miles Franklin, was labelled a ‘sausage-fest’ after judges unveiled an all-male shortlist. It was the second all-male shortlist in as many years and it sparked a nationwide debate about gender imbalance in the literary world. Critics pointed out that since the Miles Franklin began in 1957 only…
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‘You’re writing your memoirs? But you’re young, what do you have to write about?’ This is the question I have been facing on a regular basis since I started writing my memoirs as part of my honours degree. Writing my memoirs… It seems strange and a little grandiose to say that. I feel as though…
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When I was twelve, the thing I wanted more than anything else in the world—more than a hair straightener and even more than the latest So Fresh CD—was pierced ears. I thought there was nothing more grown-up and sophisticated than pierced ears. I would pester my parents relentlessly for permission. Every morning at breakfast I…
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Martin Amis is the Mick Jagger of the literary world. His leathery skin and faint monobrow would normally be viewed as unattractive qualities if taken individually but when paired with a defiant gaze and a freshly rolled cigarette Amis exudes charisma. It’s hard not to stare. It’s hard not to want to be him. It’s…
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When I was in high school I had an English teacher who was a self-proclaimed language snob. With hunched shoulders and a heavy scowl he would stalk the corridors, scanning the cacophony of teenage girls for sloppy English. If he heard you say ‘presume’ when you should have said ‘assume’, or ‘that’ when you meant…
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I don’t know about the rest of Australia but in Brisbane it’s pretty stinking hot. When you step outside the heat whacks you in the face like a hot sticky pillow and for a moment you can’t breathe. If you stand too long in one spot you’ll begin to feel droplets of sweat crawling down…
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Last Friday I was pottering away at my internship doing intern-y things (jamming the printer, killing trees and making little people out of paper clips) when all of a sudden my boss did something very strange…he asked for my opinion. I was taken aback. He wanted my opinion? The opinion of the lowly intern? The…
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When I was young I thought the most outrageous thing a girl could do was wear black underwear. This belief formed itself in my naïve little mind after watching 10 Things I Hate About You at a sleepover in Grade 5. You know the scene I’m talking about. Resident hottie, Bianca Stratford, and baby-faced Cameron…
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Martin Amis is one of those writers you just love to hate. Hailed as the bard of butch, Amis is frequently skewered by the media. They attack his writing and label him greedy and egotistical. His most recent novel Lionel Asbo was savaged by critics with one particularly grumpy reviewer from the New York Observer…
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In approximately three weeks time I will turn twenty-one. I will be waving goodbye to my idyllic childhood and stumbling drunkenly into the Brobdingnagian adult world. This is probably a milestone I should be excited about right? It’s an excuse to throw a party, gorge myself on canapés, and drink expensive champagne. Everyone has to…
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Penis, vagina, bum, boobies, sex. Say it with me now: penis, vagina, bum, boobies, sex. Loud and proud! PENIS, VAGINA, BUM, BOOBIES, SEX! Now that I’ve got your attention, let’s crank it up a notch: dickmeat, cock train, slutslot, jerries, stash. Dickmeat, cock train, slutslot jerries, stash. Try saying that ten times fast. Yes, that’s…
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A few years back I lived in Manchester in the north of England for eight months. I arrived in summer which meant that it was around the same temperature as winter in Brisbane. So naturally I whipped out the trench coats, thick stockings and beanies thinking that this was appropriate clothing for cold weather —…
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