lip top 10: guinness world record-breaking ladies
The Guinness World Records celebrate the people who are the best in their field, whether it be a result of genetics, sheer hard work, or doing something a little odd. It’s these oddities we are celebrating this fortnight, with these ladies who are the best in their fields, however obscure they may be.
1. Longest fingernails
Not going to lie, this one disgusts me a little. The record for the world’s longest fingernails belongs to American Chris Walton. On her right hand her fingernails measure 3.09 metres (that’s each fingernail measured and added together) and 2.92 metres on her left. Not only would maintenance be a bitch, but the thought of one of those snapping makes me we want to curl into a ball and never use my fingers again.
2. Biggest afro
The biggest afro in the world belongs to Aevin Dugas. It has a circumference of 1.32 metres. She says that when she washes it she uses up to five conditioners. I just feel sorry for whoever tries to spoon her.
3. Fastest 100m hurdles wearing flippers
And yes, I mean those swimming flippers you wear on your feet. This record belongs to German Maren Zönker, who completed the course in 22.35 seconds. I just don’t understand why you would even want to try.
4. Most beer steins carried over 40 metres by a woman
Nineteen. Nineteen full steins of beer were carried over 40 metres by Anita Schwarz in Germany. If you ask me, if she has the strength and balance to achieve that, her talents are being put to serious waste. I mean, she could be working in a car yard, or carrying large animals to surgery.
5. Oldest professional table tennis player
This one isn’t odd, but it’s too adorable to omit, and it makes me burst with patriotic pride. Dorothy de Low was 97 years old when she represented us at the World Veterans Table Tennis Championships in Brazil in 2008. Bless.
6. Farthest eyeball pop
This one grosses me out as well. An American woman by the name of Kim Goodman can pop her eyeballs 11 millimetres out of their sockets. I’m going to pin my eyes open next time I sneeze and see if I can beat her.
7. Most tattooed elderly person
That would be British woman Isobel Varley. At 65 years old, 93% of her body is inked. The only parts of her body that aren’t tattooed are her face, her ears, the soles of her feet and parts of her hands.
8. Most hula hoops spun simultaneously
Jin Linlin of China set this record in 2008 by spinning 300 hoops. This astounds me for two reasons: 1. I’ve seen a picture of her, and I’m not really sure how she managed to fit 300 hoops on her body; 2. I can barely spin one.
9. Fastest escape from a suitcase
Leslie Tipton did this in 2008 in 7.04 seconds. I bet she would be a great at sports too. Think about it, you need flexibility to get into the suitcase, strength to operate the zipper in a confined space, and speed to get out quickly. I’d happily let her join my Netball team.
10. Fastest time to burst three balloons with back
Yeah, that is exactly how it sounds. Julia Gunthel did it in 12 seconds by bending over backwards and popping the balloons that were placed between her back and her thighs. Sounds easy. I could totally do it faster, but uh, I can’t, because, uh, the sound of balloons popping scares me. Yep.
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