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why we need to avoid feminist men

There has always been a division between feminists over whether men can really call themselves “feminists” or not. I have always been on the “the more feminists the better” side of the fence, and have never really been able to understand why so many women are against men joining the fight for women’s rights. Luckily, Anwesha was there to write a well thought out, coherent article, about why exactly women need to avoid feminist men.

So without further ado, here are her five reasons to beware of them:

1. It’s against their nature
According to Anwesha, it is in man’s very DNA to keep the balance of power unequal. And you know what? She may just have a point. After all, thousands upon thousands of years of history point to it. But then again, slavery was a pretty big pastime for thousands of years, as was a healthy dose of incest. People have evolved and changed over the years, and will continue to do so. Inequality is in men’s genes just as much as being desperate for children and having fabulous cooking skills are in mine. And guess what? I loathe children and don’t know how to boil an egg. Personally, I think that it is pretty unfeminist to assume that all people with the same genitals have exactly the same beliefs and morals, and should be treated in exactly the same way. Hell, I would go so far to say that seeing beyond body parts and acknowledging individuality is exactly what feminism stands for.

2. Traitors to their own cause
Her argument here is that men hate male feminists. And maybe some men do. But in my experience, it tends to be the more intelligent men who speak loudly and proudly about women’s rights. And intelligent men don’t tend to hang out with chauvinistic pigs, and so aren’t really hanging around the “I hate feminists” crowd.  And yes, offense meant to the men that don’t self-identify as feminist.

Besides, this is a stupid argument. Why should women beware of feminist men simply because some other men may not like them? Are we trying to win a popularity contest or fight for equality?

To be fair, Anwesha’s main reasoning is that men that betray their “own kind” are untrustworthy and are just as likely to betray you. But again, she is shoving all people of one gender into a little pigeonhole and making this an “us against them” issue. To ever have real equality we need to have both men and women working together.

3. No chivalry
Ahh, of course. Because who wants a feminist man around when there are doors that need to be opened? Personally, I like a touch of chivalry. It is a nice gesture. But just because a man thinks that we are *gasp* equal, does not mean that he isn’t going to do nice things for me or hold doors open. But if he doesn’t, the world isn’t going to end. I’ll just have to raise my feeble woman arms and do it myself.

4. More liberation than we need
Um, what exactly is more liberation than we need? And where are these male feminists who are demanding it? Personally I have enough trouble getting the male feminists in my life off the “women love stripping!” diatribe long enough to focus on things like equal pay and rape culture. And hell, even if they are out there, let them.

The example that she gives is that some men like to burn bras to show support. Well I know of some other feminists who liked to burn bras and they just happened to make huge strides towards equality. Sure, it seems a little pointless now, especially when it is men making the gesture, but hey, why the heck not. She doesn’t provide any other examples in her article, but it doesn’t matter, because there is nothing wrong with aiming high. The more liberation the better, I say!

5.Women like bad boys
I have to say, nothing says I love you like a nice smack to the face. Seriously, where is the person who started this ridiculous myth? Because they have A LOT of explaining to do. Aneshwa thinks that women don’t like feminist men because they are just too darn nice. What we really desire is a brooding psychopath who will put us in our place. Sure, media does tend to enforce this idea, and the book sales of 50 Shades of Grey don’t exactly help to combat this idea either, but this is definitely something I haven’t seen in reality. The whole dominant male thing is just a fantasy. One that I don’t entirely get, but pretty much all fantasies are a little odd. In my life, the men who are most sought after are the nice ones. Sure, there are plenty of “nice guys” out there who claim that women don’t want them because they are too freaking wonderful, but to quote the government man- ‘Fuck you. The world doesn’t owe you shit and you’re not nice.’

So to sum up: This is the most ridiculous, sexist, irrelevant article that I have read in my life. Anwesha, you should be proud. You have officially made my top ten list of the dumbest people ever. Congratulations.

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7 thoughts on “why we need to avoid feminist men

  1. Oh thank you thank you thank you. I was so worried at first where this was going but you argued brilliantly and cleverly. Feminism isn’t about being female, it’s about female rights (obviously). That’s a cause anyone can jump on.

  2. It’s a really good article but I don’t understand the need for the misleading and unambiguous article title. What would have been wrong with the title being “Do we need to Avoid Feminist Men”?
    Stand by for my article “Todd Akin’s views on rape should be congratulated” in which I denounce and condemn Todd Akin’s views on rape unreservedly and get heaps of internet hits.

  3. I’m not even going to touch on the homophobia in that article. It’s bad enough that it was written, but the glaring homophobia? Wow. This is not what feminism looks like. I thought one of the points of feminism was to challenge gender stereotypes and essentialist thinking around gender?

  4. “And intelligent men don’t tend to hang out with chauvinistic pigs, and so aren’t really hanging around the “I hate feminists” crowd. And yes, offense meant to the men that don’t self-identify as feminist.”

    Wait… so if I’m not a feminist I’m stupid?

    What about being pro equality an not identifying as feminist, how do I do that? Is that not an option any more?

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