love out loud: get hot and get over it

A couple of years ago, I was sitting around with two friends, Little Miss E and Cuddles, denouncing men and criticising their apparent inability to process what catches we are after the recent break-up between Cuddles and her boyfriend.

I can’t remember what the circumstances were (no doubt it was his fault, or at least this is how I remember pretty much all my friends’ break-ups) and as I was delivering some variation of a ‘you’re too good for him anyway’ speech, Little Miss E piped up with her contribution: ‘just get hot’.

Before I could protest the lack of empirical evidence to support this as a healing strategy or otherwise refute the suggestion, Little Miss E went on.

Cuddles could either sit around eating ice cream, wallowing in her misery and doing her body zero favours, or she could join a gym, get her jollies from some endorphins, top it off with a spray tan and hair appointment, and feel awesome when she next ran into the dreaded ex (which, in Adelaide, only ever takes a few weeks even when you’re actively avoiding them).

The more I thought about it, the more I had to concede that Little Miss E’s seemingly stupid and superficial plan actually had a lot of merit to it. Even when you set aside the health and mood-elevating benefits of exercise, I don’t know anyone who wants to look like shit when a person who rejected them is around. I’ve spent far more time agonising over my appearance when I’ve known I was going to run into an ex than when I’ve gone out with a potential new flame.

I’m not entirely sure why this is, but it does seem to be a phenomenon predominantly seen in females. This probably stems back to being conditioned to value our appearance over other aspects of our selves, but it’s also true that it’s a lot easier to make your ex regret everything they ever did wrong if their friends are smacking them over the head for letting you go because you’re obviously a fox, than with your bewitching cackle and love of Bollywood reminding them how awesome you are and what a doofus he or she is/was.

Of course, none of this is really going to change anything between you and your ex, but your first encounter with them is going to feel a whole lot less painful if you feel confident, which is a whole lot easier if you are confident, which is a whole lot easier if you feel like you look good which, in turn, is a whole lot easier if you actually do look good. And ultimately, this is the crux of Little Miss E’s theory.

And exercise is heaps good for you, blah blah blah.

Editor’s Note: Do you have any break-up survival strategies? Please share!

(Image credits: 1.)