modern ms manners: avoiding road rage

I am the first to admit the fact that I am not the world’s best driver (how would such a competition be judged anyway?). Back when I was but a novice P-plater, I was nervous, repeatedly took for granted that other cars could purely just know what I wanted to do without my having to clearly signal my intentions and I made a point to avoid those shops where the only option was to parallel park out the front. Now, some years into my ‘adult driving life’, I consider myself much more confident, and repeatedly take precautions to avoid those earlier mistakes of my driving years (I still cannot parallel park but I have learned that not many other people can, so this no longer fills me with dread).

Later as I progressed through ‘driving puberty’, I found myself picking up on one other trait now seemingly inherent to being able to operate a vehicle. Road rage. Having now come out the other side, I regret to admit that at times I too found myself in a state of hostility every time another road user decided to cut me off, or tail gate me through road works or drive like a maniac through the lights just in front of me. Not to mention those painful learner drivers who just expected me to know what they wanted to do without having clearly indicated…

Enter ‘road rage’ into urban dictionary and you will receive a plethora of colourful definitions, my personal favourite being ‘The uncontrollable feeling of wanting to plow (sic) your car into another driver’s car.’ As a former road rage-r, I find this feeling all too familiar.

It was during an episode of having such a feeling that I stopped to consider what it actually was that I was doing. Sure, waving my arms up in the air and shouting through the screen towards the car which was now very much in the distance probably gave a somewhat European edge to my otherwise very Canberrean driving, however it did not stop me from looking like a complete idiot. Nor was it going to change the driving habits of the geriatric now kilometres in front of me. It was then I realised that all this ‘rage-ahol’ was doing was leaving me in such a state of distress that I found it quite normal to subsequently act like a highly-strung maniac for the rest of the day.

When did it suddenly become okay to hurl abuse at strangers? Or accepted to gesticulate like a crazy person just because someone has done something to displease you? I then began a social experiment where I imagined these situations playing out away from the road. Suddenly road rage became just, well, rage. I imagine if one was to walk along the footpath and another footpath user was walking too slowly in front of them, that a sudden bout of vitriol would not be accepted as common footpath use. Or if someone darted in front of you at the supermarket as they rushed towards the cheese aisle, subsequent stalking of this person with your trolley tailgating behind them would indeed be viewed upon as unseemly shopping behaviour (unless they took the last brie, in which case calmly hunt that cheese down!).

So what’s different about cars? Perhaps it is the fact that we are physically removed from the situation by being protected inside our car? Or perhaps it’s that we are complacent about the reality that we are driving around in zippy little portals of power which have the potential to be quite dangerous if we fail to apply the right attention?

In any case, I think a few simple rules of etiquette can help road users fight off the seduction of driving under the influence of rage-ahol:-

1. Do not talk to the other drivers – this includes shouting, abusing or even slight muttering. They cannot and/or will not hear you and you are left looking like a fool. Especially with the slight muttering.
2. Gesticulating wildly like you have hot coals in your hand does not necessarily translate clearly into “excuse me, but I believe I was waiting for that car park first”. Also hot coals should only be handled whilst the car is stationary.
3. Respond positively where possible – this involves anything the customary thank you wave if someone lets you in, to blowing a flirty kiss to the cute road user dancing along to a song in the car next to you. Bring on the love to stop the hate!

You should also probably make use of your indicators where possible, and either learn to parallel park or accept your limits.

(Image credit: 1.)