el james honoured at women of the year event

Dear Erika Leonard James,

Congratulations! I heard that last week, you were one of the lucky invitees at the annual Women of the Year event. Apparently ‘every single guest is handpicked in recognition of their personal contribution to society.’ Phew! That’s pretty cool!

Here at Lip, we ladies have had a few opinions on Fifty Shades of Grey and the way your novels have opened up dialogue around women and sex.  About a gazillion people around the world are commenting on the influence of your story, but I thought Katrina Lumsden’s Goodreads review sums up Fifty Shades pretty well.

Anyway, the cultural impact of the trilogy has been totally remarkable in generating new reading habits and spawning the term ‘Mummy porn’. And granted, it is a step forward in legitimising female desire in the public sphere – now that your novels have sat atop the bestseller list for months, it’s been universally deemed that talking about what you want in bed is acceptable.

I’ll admit it, Erika. You’ve achieved at a mammoth level that most writers only dream about at 3AM, slumped over their laptop next to a cold cup of coffee. For the huge number of Fifty Shades e-books that have been purchased, you absolutely deserve to join the athletes, activists, and businesswomen sipping on wine at a swanky hotel, congratulating each other for taking steps forward in the equal rights of women.

As an author, you have arrived.

But look lady, I gotta be real. As a culture maker, I feel like you’ve shat all over the other Women of the Year attendees’ efforts to create better opportunities for women.

You think you’ve done the world a favour in nudging BDSM into the mainstream and creating the shy, virginal Anastasia who finds her agency by taming a sexually violent man. But Erika, your romanticisation of an abusive relationship is appalling.

Christian Grey is much more than just another bad boy in a leather jacket picking you up from school on a motorbike (‘Hey baby, I got you a purple helmet. Hop on!’). Sure, he’s dark, sexy, and powerful. But your leading man also has a habit of gaslighting, a bizarrely controlling nature, and aggressive mood swings – all of which seem to be Ana’s fault.

Our bad boy is condescending, cruel, and dictates his girlfriend’s behaviour. In other words, you’ve written a psychologically abusive relationship. And you make it seem acceptable, because the poor guy was hungry a lot when he was a kid and also some mean lady took his virginity and taught him the art of BDSM. So being narcissistic is okay as long as a man shows some vulnerability?

You said that he’s your “ultimate fantasy guy”. And that we shouldn’t analyse it too much.

But I got news for you sister. We take cues from the world around us on how to behave. The relationships exhibited by our mothers, sisters and friends teach us how to bunk up with a boy in a healthy manner. And so does pop culture. Fiction informs us on normative social scripts; we learn how we are supposed to interact.

Fifty Shades has become way too much of a landmark in female sexuality to ignore its influence on how we think about relationships.

You’ve been named by Time Magazine as one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World. Is it because you’ve persuaded millions of readers that 1) Christian’s behaviour is acceptable and indeed, hot, and 2) Ana will change him through her pure love?

Who hasn’t had a friend (or been someone) who always seems to have relationships with wounded men who would shine a little brighter, ‘If I can just help him to see…to grow…to change…’

Bad news for those women (not that you’d like to tell them, Erika) – their men aren’t going to change. Christian Grey did – Ana’s naivety and purity revealed to his angry and wounded self a doting husband and father. I think that’s the fantasy you were referring to.

While Women of the Year thought your achievements were stupendous enough to invite you to a prestigious award ceremony, the President of the organisation briefly described the reasons why we need to applaud ladies who stand up and step out:

In my own lifetime, there have been huge gains for women. However, domestic violence is still rife. The conviction rates for sexual assault and rape remain too low…

So Baroness Helena Kennedy QC is saying we still face a load of issues in society that can stop a woman becoming the best she can be. And domestic violence is one of them. Don’t you think it’s a little weird that you lunched in style at Women of the Year, when your novels essentially normalise emotionally abusive behaviour? I do.

So congratulations, Erika. You’ve romanticised and eroticised the actions of an abusive man. You’ve achieved fame and fortune and have driven the next incarnation of Mills and Boon.

But at what cost?

Regards,

Louise Heinrich

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