‘Generation me’ – why i am a self-confessed, selfish Gen Y-er
Gen Y are called a lot of things, a lot of the time. We’re accused of being brats with low attention spans, who don’t know the meaning of hard work, are unoriginal (hence the vintage obsession), and who can’t commit to anything for longer than five minutes.
It goes without saying that we’re considered to be selfish as well.
One allegation that comes to mind in particular is last year, when a psychology professor from San Diego State University, Jean Twenge shared the results of her project studying American college students, that claimed that Gen Y (or Gen Me, as she prefers to call us), are narcissistic, self-absorbed and heavily influenced by permissive parenting and celebrity culture.
The achievements of Gen Y are also occasionally noted – the social media driven protests in Egypt are often lauded as a Gen Y success story, and rather than being painted as spoilt brats, we’re highlighted as tech-savvy revolutionaries.
One could argue that one of the biggest fallacies in trying to label a generation using world-wide events as examples is of course that the experience of a 25 year old in Egypt is undoubtedly different from that of a 25 year old in America or Australia or Sudan or anywhere. A global community we may be, but that definitely doesn’t imply shared universal experiences.
Being a Gen Y child myself, my irritation at these labels and stereotypes started to wear thin over the course of the last several months, as I graduated university, started scouting around life in the ‘real world’, and discovered that in fact, a lot of the stereotypes hold true in my own experience.
The biggest one I noticed shining through my actions, however, was a sense of selfishness – not necessarily in the negative sense of the word, but rather in terms of prioritising my own aims and goals above other things and people in my general life plan. Self-importance, in a way perhaps.
I’m in the middle of moving interstate, to hopefully start a Masters degree and find a part-time job that doesn’t eat my life the way my current full-time one does. During the course of the past several months of planning, packing, and general organising, I’ve noticed that the priority of all of my actions is me – my satisfaction with my job, my desire to move interstate, my need to cut down work hours.
The fact that my current workplace is going to be quite stuck when I go, or that my family and friends are less keen on my departure than I am haven’t even figured into my decision making process – more importantly, I don’t think they should.
My attitude towards this whole exercise has been that I am making decision for my life, that will have a primary effect on me. Whether or not there are follow-on effects that may be negative for others in my immediate sphere has barely even nudged my conscience.
I assumed that my parents would store my furniture, that my job would give me a good reference, and that my friends would support my move – because in my mind, it isn’t about them. It’s about me.
And no one has actually questioned my right to do this – it is expected and in some ways applauded that I am focussing on what I want and need right now, and am doing things to hopefully realise my dreams.
In fact, I think there would probably be a backlash if I decided not to move, or to change my plans for the sake of anyone other than myself.
For example, I knew a girl once who was on her way to big things – she had graduated university, was living in Sydney, and had her ideal job in day care. But when her boyfriend got a job in Canberra, she ended up moving with him, getting a job in a call centre, and generally putting her own dreams and ambitions on hold for his sake.
I worked at that call centre with her, and whenever this story came up, you could practically feel the judgement rolling off the fellow Gen Y-ers in the room.
‘You moved for your boyfriend?’ was the obvious look on people’s faces. ‘You must be a total pushover/have no ambition/be really needy.’
The idea of doing something for someone else to the detriment of your own goals or happiness is alien to us. Even if that’s what will ultimately make you the happiest, it is socially unacceptable to state that you are doing something specifically for someone else, even though it may not be what you wanted to do originally.
Even though I think my attitude towards my whole move has been quite self-absorbed to date, people who I have spoken to about it have congratulated me – I’m described as driven, motivated, someone who ‘knows what they want’. The fact that I am leaving my job in the lurch, that my family are being forced to store my furniture, and that I may have to go onto Centrelink if I don’t get a job right away is in no way seen as selfish.
Self-absorption is definitely a visible trait of Gen Y – but to my mind, we are always a reflection of our society, and the mirror is one huge image of ourselves.
