a broad boy abroad

from issue three: by Phillip Kelsey

I wanted to be a German pop star. No, really. I had a bunch of posters of German techno DJs and dance projects I had cut out from foreign, teeny magazines and taped to my wall. If only I could jump into it all, I would often muse in long, idle university study breaks. After graduation, I went for it. No money, no job, not even a clue as to what I was doing. But you know what? Sometimes a little naiveté carries you a long way. And it sure did — all the way from sunny California to dismal, cold Berlin.

I was greeted with the usual “who moves from Los Angeles to Germany?!” but at 22, idealism remains fully intact. Me, that’s who.

My adventures started with some cold calls to listings in local city magazines. I could barely put a sentence together in German, which makes it all the more miraculous that I found my first producer within my first week there. Still jetlagged, I was already recording my first song.

It wasn’t long, however, before the dream was crushed. By the time the song attracted interest from a major label, I had been cheated out of my own deal. Falling back on a dear friend, I had to ask myself, “Do I try again or fly home? How badly do I want this?” I thought of the artists on the posters on my wall. They did it. I can do it too. On with the show.

Germany took some getting used to, but a series of major mishaps and minor victories kept me busy until the summer, when the sun finally came out again. Another round of cold calls hooked me up with a do-it-yourself producer, who let me take control of his studio at home. This was my chance to shine, and I was able to do it all myself — and get the material copyrighted — before we took it to the next level.

Breaking into the music industry is not as easy as it looks on TV. And sooner or later, you achieve a small amount of success and ask yourself “do I really want to do this?!” This is a question I never bothered to ask, though it might have saved me some serious trauma had I at least rephrased it into a “to what extent do I want to do this?”

Artistic differences led to a split, and I was on my own again. Nearly two years after my arrival, after that initial burst of enthusiasm, I finally got the right connections. I was working with some of Germany’s top producers, who, years prior, had some incredible international success stories. We repackaged my sound, and when the majors snubbed it, I was offered a publishing deal instead. This meant I would merely write the songs, and someone else would get to be the star (ie. get to do the grunt work of touring) while I’d collect the royalties. That’s when I decided I could do that much back home.

You see, I had accomplished what I’d set out to do. I was actually in the studio, recording songs I had written, with people who were on my wall! I was performing live on stage at various open-air festivals and beneath the streets in some of Berlin’s seediest nightclubs. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? It was. Do I regret anything? No.

I left Germany with a box full of demos, near native command of the language, and four years of memories that I will carry with me for a lifetime. I figured if I could get a publishing deal in Germany, I could get one in America. And you know what? I probably will.

Phillip Kelsey was born in Los Angeles and studied Theater at UCLA. As he set forth in the world to become a German pop star, he fell back on journalism, cartoon voiceovers, and even becoming a flight attendant. After running around Europe for several years, he most recently landed in New York at MTV. Hobbies include music, travel, and languages.

You can check out Philip’s music at www.worldoftears.com