‘Get those tweezers away from my eyeballs.’
This is one of the philosophies by which I lead my life, but it’s also a major point of hypocrisy for me.
I’m not a really fussy person when it comes to the beauty department, but I do get my eyebrows shaped at a salon. This is partly because a high school art teacher once told me that I have little sense for drawing even shapes, and I know that it’s an area I can’t be trusted in.
But I don’t feel one hundred percent comfortable about doing this. Professional beauty treatments always remind me of how women create stresses for each other. I even get the feeling that the girl at the place I go for waxing isn’t my biggest fan.
‘It’s gonna take me such a long time to finish,’ she told me the last time I went into that world of eyebrow pain. ‘You’ve just let your brows get so untidy; you’re giving me a challenge here.
‘Maybe next time, you might not want to let it get to this.’
She was genuinely annoyed.
The last time I checked, I don’t voluntarily grow eyebrow hairs, nor do I spend a large amount of time conspiring against salon employees. The implication that I’ve done something wrong is crazy. There’s this unspoken expectation that I’ll do my best to look presentable, and yet as soon as I try, someone’s blaming me for impolite hair growth?
I won’t say that this happens everywhere; beauty therapy seems like a stressful profession when it comes down to it, and I know that there are some lovely women (and men) out there working in the field. But even if it’s not intentional and consistent, I think that there’s a culture of perfection in the industry, and it makes women question why they’re trying to make themselves pretty in the first place.
A quick survey of friends who maintain rigid beauty salon schedules reveals that, like doctors, a good beauty therapist is hard to find. I’ve heard stories of girls being scolded by salon professionals for their skin being too dry, hair being too coarse, appointments being too far apart, eyelashes being too short.
As the blogosphere has debated the merits of Slutwalk and the representation of women in power throughout the last while, I’ve begun to consider how women contribute to the drive for physical perfection, and the accompanying insecurities. Some have said, for instance, that redefining the word ‘slut’ is pointless because of the ease with which women use this word against each other. In a similar vein, it seems that progress in health and body image is stilted when females (beauty therapists or not) critique other women who are trying to improve their appearances.
Nobody has the right to display disdain for your body, especially if you’re paying them for their services. Nevertheless, when I think of getting a beauty treatment, my mind will, for a second, think about whether I need to tidy myself up a little before the appointment. It’s like that incredulous compulsion to clean your house before the housekeeper comes, lest they be offended at the fact that your living space actually needs to be tidied.
It might just be tut-tutting. When a waxer sighs that you need to moisturise more, it might just be in the name of selling extra beauty products. But whichever way you choose to look at it, the thought that you can’t win seems exasperating. If you don’t buy into the aura of affection that surrounds ‘professional beauty’, you’re not trying hard enough. If you do, chances are that somebody will make you feel uncomfortable in the process. It must be frustrating to deal with a slightly messier eyebrow than usual, you think for a moment. Or to have to take an extra 5 minutes on waxing long limbs.
We should always attempt to disregard opinions that shouldn’t affect us, and I’m trying to be the bigger person when faced with this awkward situation. When the same beauty therapist from above asked why on earth I’d let my face get to this state, I said that I’d been busy. Working, studying, travelling, reading. Doing slightly more important things than pouring wax across my skull. This might not fix the problem, but if we’re confident about our own choices when faced with such dilemmas, maybe it’s a start.
(Image credit: 1.)
Awesome article. I was thinking the same thing recently at how women hate these ridiculous pressed on them, yet we enable them ourselves. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve wondered, ‘why do we do it all’. It’s not our job to be constant eye-candy. Just do what makes you feel good about yourself and leave it at that! I focus primarily on hygiene.
Lovely article. I’m very much with Emma on this when it comes to entering the world of the “beauty culture.” I recently struggled with a decision about waxing my bikini area, or not. I was thinking of doing it for a loved one, not myself, and in the end (after two consults) I just couldn’t bring myself to strip off my hair (painful process, I’ve heard) and condemn myself to a rigorous routine of upkeep all to denude myself. I like my hair and there is nothing wrong with it. Mother Nature knew what she was doing! I’m disturbed that so many young women think they need to strip themselves to be sexy for a partner, but also disturbed that I was doubting myself on this. I don’t shave my legs or arm pits (not a hairy person – can barely see the hair on my legs) so why the heck would I start waxing my crotch!? When I was a teen and in my early twenties I didn’t know a soul who shaved or waxed her bikini area, but it seems rather common now. Emma, I suggest you grow your brows until they meet in the middle and go back to that beauty consultant and tell her you grew them just for her so she could keep her skills sharp.